For my very first post on this family blog, I struggled to come up with something I felt was poignant, thought provoking, and soulful. So I let go. Then it hit me. I experienced my 35th birthday a few days ago. While it was not an important milestone for me, I found that others found that it was meaningful and made many sincere efforts to express their wishes to me.

As I reflected on this, I began to get a little misty eyed on how grateful I am for all that I have. I am pretty much brooding all of the time, but today at this very moment, I am finding myself very thankful for the space I occupy in life. The last few days have been a constant reminder on the depth of souls in my life and the energy they bring to it. For my first post, I am going to discuss the realization of my thankfulness.

Family. Thanksgiving was spent at my aunt and uncle's home on Fox Island. It was a house full for sure. While some might have expected a train wreck, the evening, dinner and conversations were well received by all. Of course this is my perception. But I am not too concerned with anyone else's ability to be thankful. Of course, there were points of the night I would have like to drop kick one person or another. I sat back and observed the full picture and realized that opportunities like that evening are finite. Family members come and go and the cycle of life changes the landscape of your world. The humility of some members of my family is so refreshing and so enjoyable. The purity of their existence and feelings are great to experience. They always make you feel as if you belong. That is important. We all want to belong to something. I am thankful for that experience and the family which creates it.

Birthday. We had guests over for a celebration of my birthday. As I mentioned above, my birthday is not a milestone I care to shoot off anymore. Getting older comes with its share of drawbacks. (So what if I have cheap car insurance and can get bank loans, I am tired of not bouncing back from hangovers fast enough). I digress. Our guests came over for beer and lasagna. Dinner was whipped up by my wife and enjoyed by our guests. She really knows how to entertain and never disappoints with her hospitality and execution. It was a good night of hanging out and nice to see people out for me. I had one friend who came over at the drop of a hat despite not having planned on coming. Actions like that are humbling. I really appreciate that kind of friendship. No rules, boundaries, or conditions. After everyone left, my brother in law stayed and crashed out at the house overnight. We must have talked about music and tattoos for hours over many alcoholic beverages. Nights like that do not come often enough. Again, they are finite and I am thankful for the limited experiences like this I get. I am very thankful for the relationship I have with my brother in law. He is my best friend.

Tattoos and music. The next day, my brother in law and I decided to get tattooed. This is a vice of mine. My sleeve is nearly done but it was very important to get my brother in law started on his. It will be epic when complete. Getting tattooed with someone you are close to is empowering. There is something so elemental in the creativity, pain, and expression that comes with it. I am thankful for being able to express myself in my visual art I have created. My brother in law is very creative as well. To connect through music and visual art is something I am very grateful for. He brings a different musical perspective to my life. Where I am punk and anti-authority, he is western and southern soul. But the sharing of music and creation is something I wish I had everyday. That might wear out the beauty of its existence. For that, I am very grateful for the limited opportunities we have to share. As a side note, the ink artwork turned out phenomenal as always. The work is coming together and is what I had always envisioned for it.

Home. I dug through tons of Christmas decorations. My wife has about a billion boxes of stuff to pull out of storage in our garage. I complain routinely about her stuff and how it clutters my garage and several corners of our house. But secretly, I like it, as her possessions give me great comfort. They are pieces of her. This upcoming holiday is one I do actually like. Most other holidays suck. So decorating is pretty important to me. My father came over this afternoon and helped put up lights on the house. My son and I are going to build a Christmas train this evening. All of that being said, I am very thankful for my wife and son who keep me grounded and focused on the real stuff. Love. My son has bothered me countless times while writing this entry to build that damn train. My wife and I are expecting our second son in 10 days. I don't know if I am ready for two boys. Then again, I can't imagine it any other way. I am thankful for my wife, little boy, and a son on the way. Anger? Well most of the time toward the world. But the love for my family in this house is huge. I am thankful for them.

There you have it. I am very thankful for the ability to express myself. But I have yet to find acceptable ways to wrap things up. I am cursed with the problem of wanting to continue expressing more of my thoughts. While I am always grateful for my life, I have had many struggles. But, I am blessed with people around me who bring out the best in me, care about me, and support me through the journey.