It’s been an uneventful musical month for me. Even though I’ve picked up a few albums by 'alternative' internet based means, nothing has really jumped out at me. So after feeling a little guilty for not feeding my musical needs for sustenance, I thought I’d peruse the internet and see what surfaced.

Because of my inextricable loyalty to Microsoft products, I find myself constantly looking for the next little games or app for my Windows Phone on Zune.net. And tonight was no different as I figured there was some useless free game I needed to download to entertain myself on mass transit to and from work. In that search, I sifted through the music to see what was compelling. On Zune.net, I found more commercially viable contributions to the music industry than I’m typically drawn to.

And tonight I’m surprised by a find in my drudging.

Bayside, an emo sort-of pop-punk, almost melodic hardcore band, released their fifth studio album. What does that have to with anything? Nothing much other than I’ve seen these guys perform before somewhere sometime when I lived in Southern California. And let me just say they were the opening band and they sucked balls. So why should this album even ripple the surface of the sea that is the music industry? Well it won’t but it’s worth a listen.


The new record, “Killing Time” is actually enjoyable to listen to. I’m sure I saw these dudes in the 2003 timeframe which would have made them relatively newly signed. This record comes after a label switch and some adversity. And apparently, this is the release that most critics were expecting from the beginning that just never came until almost 10 years later.

Since I really don’t know anything about them, I chose to do a little background check. Nothing relevant to write here that adds any value to this column. But I’ll say they’ve had their issues and that’s reflected in this album. It’s the typical ‘trying to find my place in the world while no one understands me’ release. And that’s OK at times. We all have that internal dialogue which pipes up at the most unpredictable times almost like it was a karmic sanity check the universe was providing.

“Killing Time” is actually a fairly tightly produced album which is musically stunning and very energetic. Is it original? Nope. But the guitar work is pretty cool. There are a ton of guitar slides and some sweet snare drum work. There’s definitely a maturity to the record even though a majority of the songs remain true to a calculated misery that comes with the emo genre.

Each song is not all that bad and has promise but there are a few that truly stand out.

“Already Gone” – Bayside couldn’t open with a better track; driving guitars and urgent lyrics. Sounds like the lead singer is tired of a dysfunctional relationship. It’s a dear john letter ending a toxic relationship. And oh yes, he’s angry, “I know it's cold but I will keep us warm with all the hate I radiate. We'll be walking hand in hand in hell.” Love it.

“Seeing Sound” – This is the best song on the record in my opinion. It has the bouncy aggressiveness and guitar of a Green Day song. Clearly an influence here. It’s a facetious song about the irony of life as the metaphor of a circus. The lyrics, “We'll go along thinking everything is wrong. Watch our lives from afar. But looking back is not so bad,” summarize it best.

“Killing Time” – Like the opener, Bayside couldn’t close with a better song. It’s heavy and unrelenting and the guitar is thick. I love the concept of the title track. Killing time is a metaphor for being sedentary in life. It’s kind of a carpe diem type anthem. The lyric, “I'm half way to happy now & I always mistake it for progress” typifies how we all feel when we downtrodden with emotion and setbacks.

If you took New Found Glory and Alkaline Trio and put them in a blender and added some Billie Joe Armstrong, put it on puree and blend away, you’d have Bayside. I do like the album but I should inform the reader here that I’ve only listened to it three times at the time of writing this. So maybe it would piss me off more and I’d get bored by its repetition with a few more listens. Overall, I think it’s a strong record with some catchy tunes. There is some great guitar work which is a blast to listen to. Additionally, the music is driving and the lyrics are delivered earnestly with an electronic violin type sounding voice.

Does Bayside have longevity? Well, it has taken a multitude of records to get to a mature sounding release. You’d like to think that their best music is in front of them. “Killing Time” is a decent product worth procurement by any means you feel are appropriate.

The night sky of the last few nights reminded me of the inequity of my writing where Son #2 is concerned. Maybe that’s because when you’re with Son #2, you’re usually feeding him snacks or kissing his head from his latest head wound. That kid has an innate inability to successfully avoid cutting boards, table corners, walls, and floors. Furthermore, when he sustains a head injury, the first thing that comes to his mind is the pantry.

Back to the night sky; Son #2 has a thing for the moon. Not a “Wow, that’s cool. Can you explain to me why it’s so bright?” type of thing. More of a “Oh my frickin’ God this is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen even though I saw it yesterday, but this is so much better than that and I think I just crapped myself!” type of thing. Anytime we’re outside, any time we get out of a car, the question is as reliable as rain in Seattle on the 4th of July. “Moon?” Everything in the sky is the moon. He sees the sun, it’s the moon. You can’t dissuade to the appropriate classification. Well, everything but clouds which he actually calls “rainbows.”


With the recent clearing trend in the weather pattern around the Seattle area, there was a larger prominence of visibility of the moon. This isn’t good for those of us who live with him. Factor in that it’s much lower in the sky and we have a recipe for Son #2 losing his mind when he sees this lunar body.

With our new house, we tend to eat our meals in the formal dining room. This gives both our children the uninterrupted freedom to stargaze while eating or be distracted by the wind blowing through the trees outside. The windows are large enough to see an unobstructed view of the sky. The other night after dinner, Son #2 was standing and staring out of one of these windows. You could almost feel the electricity starting to charge through the air in the house as he spooled up to 100,000 volts.

“Da-dee, Da-dee, Da-dee…” I hear the rhythmically excited chant began as a dull roar and crescendo into an all out shrill scream of excitement while I’m washing the dishes in the kitchen. Trying to ignore the Tasmanian devil-like spinning and flailing, I continue washing. When the screaming reaches a feverish level where I’m concerned about windows shattering and the police showing up, I humor his freakish request and join him in the dining room. “Moon! Moon! Moon!” as he gestures out the window toward the eastern sky.

With a quick glance out, I note that the moon is out there but opt to torment his obsession being that he’s crossed a sanity threshold and lost his mind. I repeatedly ask him, “Where?” while looking the other way. This does nothing but further infuse the shrill screams and gesturing with more emphatic yelling and pointing.

The pointing and screaming continues while I look the opposite way. "See! See! See!" Now you’d think that frustrating him probably isn’t the smartest thing to do given that the freakish screams he yields when upset can wake the deadest of corpses from miles away; but it’s still fun. Giving in to my son’s frustration/excitement of the moment, I turn to look and acknowledge the moon that he’s spotted for the 50th time in one night and he’s finally satisfied. It’s funny, he’s just as excited to show me the moon for the 50th time as he was the very first time he realized he had a winky and told his mother. Call it pride in discovery. Like he claimed both for his own great nation.

This went on for the next few hours and days. And after each acknowledgment, he’d continue into nursery rhyme, “Cow jump!” and “Dish, spoon!” Each leading to a clap and a scream in life changing excitement. I never thought I’d be wishing for clouds to slow down the excitement. Not that it would change anything as everything in the sky is the moon. He has an absolute adoration of the moon.


Maybe he’s in touch with something we aren’t. Like that the moon is viewed in terms of the rhythmic life of the cosmos and is believed to govern all vital change. The cyclical process of disappearance and appearance of the moon is the basis of widespread association of the moon with the land of the dead, the place to which souls ascend after death, and the power of rebirth. Nope.

Maybe he knows that the moon has the basis for many amorous legends and some superstitions (madmen were once considered to be moonstruck, hence the term lunatic) and is particularly important in the practice of astrology. Nah.

Maybe this obsession will lead him in to astronomy or to being an astronaut. After all, there is that small subset of people who think we never made it to the moon and it was a NASA conspiracy. Maybe he could prove those asses wrong and reestablish our space exploration dominance. That’s a stretch.

Or maybe it’s just simple obsession with something bright and shiny. After all, does it have to be that deep? Oh well, Son #2 may make the news at 11:00pm one day because of this.

I often fancy myself as an innovative thinker. At times, it takes a major muse to wedge out those ideas from my head. Here’s an example: One night in LB many a year ago, the morning after a night of drinking and debauchery, I derived one of my greatest philosophies. The three greatest inventions of man.

In the shower, a solace of creative bliss, I pondered just how fantastic running water was at that point. Soothing and satisfying, cleaning our nooks and crannies, and sobering our minds. Running water; invention one. The next revelation happened while brushing my teeth. After drinking and plate after plate of nachos, foul breath and the need for toothpaste arise. With each brush, your teeth are nudged closer to cleanliness and your stank breath is reduced. Your mouth and soul have been cleansed. Toothpaste; invention two.

I’ve mentioned two of the three items. The third is the most epic; beer. It’s what led to the discovery of running water and toothpaste. I could sing the virtues of beer in this entry but instead I’ll opt for a neutral party’s expertise. The importance of beer has been substantiated by an independent source; The Discovery Channel.


This channel broadcast the most epic program. “How Beer Saved the World.” It’s as if my very thoughts were channeled to these producers. Our mastery over the world started with one great invention. Not the wheel, not the car, not the airplane. The greatest invention of all is beer. It’s changed the world over and over again. And here’s how:

Once nomadic Hunter-gathers stopped their wondering and started farming. They swapped caves for houses and created the first civilization; Mesopotamia. Historians call this the Agricultural Revolution. And you know what started it? Barley.

Barley was domesticated by early civilizations to make beer. Proof was found by archaeologists in the residue on the walls of ancient jugs. What they proved was that beer was discovered by accident. The ancient jugs were filled with barley. During a rainstorm, water filled these vessels. The moisture allowed the barley to produce sugars and natural yeast to create CO2 and alcohol. Somebody tasted it and at that moment, life looked a little more interesting.

The intoxicating and feel good effects of beer started a historic cascading effect of innovation and invention that changed our world.

Simple production of beer couldn’t keep up with demand. Older growing techniques of scoring the earth and planting the seeds gave way to the invention of the plow. Some ground was not suitable for growing which led to irrigation. As production increased, transportation was necessary. From the need of transportation, beer invented the wheel and carts. As the scale of farming increased, there was the need for borders and property. This need forced the creation of mathematics and measurement. All because of beer. But beer’s greatest early world invention was none of these. It came by way of bookkeeping. Beer created writing as farmers needed to record the trade of beer as a commodity.


Ancient Egyptians saw beer as a gift from the Gods. The daily ration for building the pyramids was the ancient equivalent of a coupon for beer. It was a currency. The pay was a gallon of beer a day for ancient workers. It took 213,414,717 gallons of beer to build the pyramid of Giza. Beer was a vital source of nutrition. Even school boys drank it. It was also used to treat the sick as well. Ancient beer beat modern medicine by 3,000 years.

Beer kept people alive in the Middle Ages of Europe. Water was not safe in the Middle Ages as it contained fecal matter. However, when the water was boiled and brewed into beer the fecal matter and bacteria were gone. Purifying water, beer saved thousands. Everyone drank it to stay alive. And monks were at the center, brewing beer which drove many to church to drink. It’s a Godsend.


Beer was critical in the creation of modern capitalism. Our Founding Fathers had one thing in common, Washington, Adams, Franklin…they were all brewers. Franklin once opined, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Even before that, the pilgrims on the Mayflower would’ve never made it to the new world without beer. Like the Middle Ages, the water on the ship was impure and beer was the only way to survive. Beer even influenced where early settlers landed. The pilgrims ran out of beer on the ship and were forced to land at Plymouth to reorganize.

Beer also launched the first social network of the new world. The tavern was the first social connector before the internet, email, and Facebook. Over beer, our early patriots fumed about British oppression. The Sons of Liberty discussed revolution over more and more beer. The tavern was the epicenter where revolutionary activity was planned and coordinated. Beer was pivotal in the American Revolution and becoming independent.

With our independence, beer next took on disease. Beer was the basis for the birth of modern medicine. Louis Pasteur invented pasteurization which has been linked to milk. However, he studied beer first. His discovery proved beer was alive with bacteria which were causing it to spoil. If bacteria can make beer sick, can it make people sick? The answer gave way to Germ Theory. From Germ Theory, doctors began to understand vaccination and antibiotics, and more importantly, washing one’s hands.


Beer’s next great challenge was taking on excessive heat that was ruining food and people. The first refrigeration system was developed by the brewing industry to keep beer cold. Ice was too difficult to use due to its weight and limited lifecycle. Necessity is the mother of invention, and the need to create artificial refrigeration was driven by beer. Refrigeration meant A/C, the manufacture and storage of medicine, the ability to keep organs alive, and ice cream.

To meet the new demand, factories were created to produce and bottle beer. It wasn’t the car that led us to economic power, it was beer; a decade before Henry Ford. Beer production automated the production line to create bottles. The bottle making machine was incredibly important in the evolution of manufacturing. By automating the production of bottles, child labor was nearly eliminated. Bottle making was this most significant offender in child labor.


While all impressive, beer gave us something to drink at the ball game. Without beer, we would still be living in caves. In a moment of absolute clarity, I concocted the three greatest inventions of all time. However, one of those great inventions saved us all. Beer changed the world and we owe our lives and prosperity to it.