Tuesday, May 31, 2011

When you have your own blog, you have the opportunity to express your opinion quite easily to all who would dare to read your words. When it comes to music reviews, I am neither an expert nor a novice. However, I tend to lean toward a bias of reviewing new additions to our music catalog that I like. Rarely, maybe even never, do I spend much time or exert much energy on something musical I don’t like. But that’s not fair to the music that sucks. It too deserves the right of me providing some opinionated nondescript review.

So this time around, I’m going to review an album, which despite how infectious and saccharine-enriched the songs are, the overall theme and execution are downright annoyingly predictable and consistent.

It all starts with the overly sensationalized ratings killing “Dancing with the Stars.” Yes. I watch this show. Often? Not so much. But I’m drawn to the scantily clad women moving rhythmically to a talented band that typically ruins a pop music tune during the performance. Consistent with previous seasons, we find some ridiculous untalented stars paired with some talented pros. But there’s an exception to the rule. Enter Mark Ballas pro dancer extraordinaire. Birthed from two international champion dancers, the guy was destined to shimmy on the national stage. The dude is talented. However, according to my wife, he takes too many opportunities to expose his abdomen. Can we get this from the ladies too? Where’s the fairness?

Anyway. “Dancing with the Stars” is on ABC, owned by Disney. This tends to work in the Mouse-driven conglomerate’s favor when trying to woo young starlets to the dance floor. Now enter the bouncy Chelsea Kane, the Disney youth formally known as Chelsea Straub. Paired with Mr. Ballas, they have quite the chemistry. Ballas choreographs and Kane nails it. It helps that she’s a cutie. In recent competition, the duo parlayed a cha cha, limbo, fox trot, or paso to a catchy tune which hooked her name.

I’m thinking to myself, “she’s cute and has a song named after her, this band must know something.” So I research the song and the band and discover it’s a little group called The Summer Set. Thinking that it can’t be all that bad, I resort to downloading the torrent.


Let’s get into the sonic discussion of The Summer Set and their album “Love Like This.”

Just like most pop music of the day, it could be Lady Gaga, Kesha, Pink music and beats, heavy Euro-synth, and with some auto-tuned voice on top. Basically, this isn’t all that original. It’s like the pop formula of the day. It’s Mickey Mouse as a carbon based life form. Take a group of cute kids, maybe 18-23. Give them instruments. Get an old white dude recording engineer. Get some serious electronic equipment to develop and sculpt the sound. Get the most photogenic with the whiniest over-hyped rodent-like voice to lead them into battle. Lastly, make sure you always start with a catchy hook and then build the song around it. Rinse and repeat for eleven or so tracks.

Chelsea – This is the aforementioned track that got me to burn bandwidth and download this pack of Skittles dipped in syrup smothered in sugar and then coated in Magic Shell. This is by far the best candy bar in the box. Nothing unique; childhood obsession with a Mouseketeer. Come on. We all have been there. Your dad likes Annette Funicello and you like Brittany Spears as do many old men and your wife likes Justin Timberlake.



This is How We Live – On another level over indulgence, this track is bonafied bragging at your highs school reunion. It’s no Lil Wayne song about how ghetto he is. This is ex-high school, Mouseketeer wanna-be’s telling you about their ripped jeans and living their dreams. OK, it’s a little narcissistic and addictive to listen to.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s happy happy joy joy but every track is so similar to the one before it and after it. It’s an ambiguous amalgamation of electronic beats and youthful piercing voices yearning for understanding why their high school crush won’t go with them to the senior prom.

The Summer Set’sLove Like This” has an undeniable cotton candy charm, and those not averse to sugary-sweet jams will find themselves tapping their toes and singing along to all 13 tracks. Hell, I actually listen to it and feel my teeth rotting from the high fructose corn syrup saturated music dripping down my ear canal.

The group’s first LP, "Love Like This," is definitely a solid venture, and a testament to the troupe’s seemingly boundless knack for writing killer pop anthems. Listening to “Love Like This” isn’t going to bolster anyone’s street cred, but it’s a promising collection of charming sugary ju-ju-bees from this band dead set on turning your ears into over indulged saccharine. Cavity creeps attacking.

Saturday, May 7, 2011


People often ask me, “How did you become so awesome?” Flattered, I take a moment usually to bask in the glow of the adoration of my awesomeness. And then I supply a heartfelt answer explaining to them that it’s a constant work in progress to be awesome. And with hard work, perseverance, and persistence, they too can reach a level of awesomeness. Now it helps to be born with awesome. You see, with a foundation of awesome, you can attain unattainable levels of awesome that those not born with awesome can achieve.


Awesome is like being able to slam dunk a basketball. You see, everyone can shoot a basket and even become a marginally decent basketball player. If you suck at shooting, you can just stand in the way in the key and play defense. But the slam dunk is the pinnacle of the sporting art form of basketball. Being able to dunk gives you a little edge. It’s the competitive advantage that you have in the sport just like the advantage being awesome gives you in your everyday life.


Now remember, being awesome isn’t an easy task, and there are many ways that a person can have their awesomeness revoked. Again, being awesome isn’t something you’re necessarily born with; it's something you are because you choose to be. How do I know this you ask? Because I'm awesome. Now, let's venture into the world of awesome and see just how far off you are. Here are 11 easy steps to boost you into awesomeness:

1. Make a list of the qualities you think are awesome in others. Ask yourself why you think these things are awesome. Is it something you can attain in yourself? If not, is there something more awesome you could do?

2. From your awesome list, pick at least one amazing skill and refine it. Mine is reciting the alphabet backwards while blindfolded and holding a baby.

3. Be optimistic. If you start realizing life is good, then you're that much closer to being awesome. Try thinking of how much worse life could be without being awesome. When I’m sad, I stop being sad and start being awesome.

4. Try to create the awesome things you love. People will know instinctively that someone who creates things is awesome.

5. Listen to awesome music and don't be afraid to rock out to it. And if you do it in public, some might think you're crazy, but there's also the possibility that others will think you're awesome for dancing. For example, anytime Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey comes on, awesome fist pumps are what I do.

6. Get yourself an awesome theme song. This is like what you would listen to before a big game or going out to pick up on the ladies. Listen to the tunes on this blog. They’re good examples of awesome theme songs.

7. Don't be afraid of what other people think. There are six billion people on the planet so there’s no way that you can get along or please everyone. Instead concentrate on being awesome to your friends and family.

8. Get yourself some awesome clothes; awesome to you, not necessarily to the world. An awesome person makes his outfit awesome and not the other way around.

9. If you aren't the best looking guy out there, develop your sense of humor. People love jokes, especially coming from an ugly dude. Brightens up everyone's day.

10. Get yourself a catch phrase. Awesome people always say awesome stuff. Think about it. "Did I do that..?!" How awesome was Urkel?!

11. Tell everyone that you’re totally awesome. Confidence is crucial to being awesome, so always believe in yourself, even if you aren't.


Follow these steps as if they were gospel. It’s like the Gospel of Awesome and I’m your prophet. While being born awesome is helpful, remember that being awesome is a choice. Maybe you’re worried that this is the old awesome. This isn’t the Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure type of awesome. Now that was a good awesome though. Also, it’s not the cool guy pretentious jerk wad version of awesome. This is a highly evolved version of awesome. Awesome has staying power like Rolling Stones but not like Aerosmith. Look at Mick Jagger; he’s pretty awesome for an old dude. Steven Tyler isn’t awesome.


Like I said above, there are things which you shouldn’t do that will rot the awesome right out of you or impede you on the journey to awesome. For instance, if you’re complaining or whining, just remember, you could be being awesome instead. I’m not sure why but it seems that a ton of people are becoming very negative. They whine on TV, they whine on Talk Radio, they whine on blogs and on Facebook, and they whine to others. This isn’t constructive or positive. Therefore it’s not awesome. If you catch yourself in one of those downward spirals of complaining or whining, stop and think about the fact this way of thinking and behavior is keeping you from being awesome. Being awesome is that easy.