There is always an element of chaos surrounding the happenings in my life. Nothing is ever predictable or calm. In an effort to grossly understate the obvious, the last 24 hours of my life have been a ride more wild than any Six Flags roller coaster flying off the tracks under the hottest and busiest conditions of the summer.

Last night, we were two days out from having our next child. With that idea, comes great excitement and sometimes even greater anxieties. Those who know our circumstances know that this pregnancy occurred under the most improbable of conditions. It came as a surprise when we were told it would not happen. It did. We were surprised. We had accepted that one child may be it. We were scared. We were staring at the fact that we now were going to bring another child into the landscape of life when we were unsure we had the abilities to do it.

This came with great concern. Fast forward. We never felt exactly like we did with the pregnancy of our first child. Many reasons exist that lead the experience this way. Far too many to quantify in this entry. However, last night it happened. Something quite similar to our first pregnancy. The anxiety breakdown. With our first child, it happened the night before his delivery. This one appeared to be two days before. Little did we know.

Last night was difficult. The magnitude of the moment was upon us. Could we do it again? What would our first son do? How would he handle it? How could we bring a child into a world so tarnished? Are we excited? Why do we have malaise? There were many tears. At times I felt very insensitive. I have been pretty utilitarian during this pregnancy. Almost emotionless at times. This is very far from my character. As we talked through this emotional chaos, I realized that this next chapter was just as murky as the last. But strangely, the ambiguity was somewhat calming. The element of not knowing, releases the idea of control, and frees the struggle with trying to hypothesize what lies ahead. Besides, I hate hypothesizing. I fee like I am lying to my brain. We calmed down and headed off to bed. There was one more day until his birth. Or was there.

At 4am in the morning, my wife's water broke. This was not expected. We were scheduled for a c-section 7 days before the actual due date to avoid labor. My wife woke me up from my unpleasant slumber to alert me to her need to head to the emergency room. You learn a lot about yourself when you sleep poorly, are awakening to an anxiety ridden pregnant wife, and forget what shoes are for. Yes, I was confused. So we grabbed our son, called family, and shot off to the hospital. We sat in triage with my wife having huge contractions and descending in to full blown labor. Needless to say, she didn't like it. Side note, our first child was delivered c-section as well. So labor pains and the process are somewhat alien to us.

Apparently, 3 other women scheduled for c-sections on Wednesday felt the need to go into labor this morning too. So in the triage unit, it was a function of who screamed the loudest was served first. We went third. I will jump over the delivery excitement and land on the recovery side of the pregnancy. I don't want to offend readers here with my graphic encounter with my wife's entrails. Our second son came one day early. No one tells my son 'when he needs to be somewhere.' Defiant just like his old man. He was healthy, full of color, a little smaller than our first, and very alert. Seeing your kid for the first time can not be explained in the average English language. Those with children who have taken this path know exactly what I am describing. Miracle. The strongest and weakest of individuals are brought to a common denominator at one small instant on the time line of life. Beauty.

And it gets better. The surprise delivery forced me to call in sick. My back up in the office was sick too. So therefore, I had no management over my current projects. So I had the joy of having the opportunity to go into the office this afternoon and work hours after my son was born. Fortunately, the stay did not last long and I headed back to the hospital for a final visit of the evening. My wife and newborn stayed, obliviously, while my older son and I headed home for the night. At home, I had 'the talk' with my son. A lot of responsibilities come with being an older brother. But I wanted to explain to him no matter what happened moving forward, he would always be my number one. There is significance to what he did for us in the wake of my brother's and mother-in-law's deaths.


Today was a day in the life. Chaotic. Ups. Downs. Surprises. Love. We now have two boys, two strong branches to continue the growth of the family, and two little monsters terrorize the fabric of the world.