Until this, I had yet to find the appropriate moment and subject to grace this blog with an entry in this New Year. Since my last posting here, we have been adjusting to the reduction of holidays and increase in mouths in our house. While natural in its occurrence, having an infant in the house is challenging and tiresome, even if it is your second child.

Son #2 does not like to sleep. When it is time to crash out for the evening, he likes to do what I so endearingly call, ‘riding the donkey.’ This terminology was coined on an international trip to the tropical isle of Jamaica. Briefly, a cohort and I came up with this phrase in one of our deeply insightful conversations stimulated by about a case of indigenously crafted rum. At some point in the evening, you hit the proverbial wall. It is then and only then, that you dig deep and find that one ounce of resiliency to power through the urge to take a dirt nap. Back to reality. Son #2 has the innate ability to summon his inner demon, saddle up and 'ride that donkey' with the greatest of commitment. So much so that it unties every thread of patience of your parental existence. Eventually, after hours of calming, coaxing, and pacifying, Son #2 gives in. But then, he is back up to eat again in a few hours. The sleep habits of Son #2 add to the challenge of being alive.


Now that the holidays are over, I have had the pleasurable experience of returning to my place of work. It comes at the opportune time when there is a need for a new balance to occur. With that, comes the concern for Son #1. He has had my uninterrupted attention for the past few weeks. Well, at least he has had my attention when I was not totally hypnotized by the phenomenon that is Lego Star Wars. Going back to work, left him alone to fend off his mother. More importantly, would my wife have the energy to handle both Son #1 and #2 on their worst of days? So far, so good. Every day is a work in progress yet Son #1 seems to be adjusting well to being the older brother and the man of the house while I am out. Still, Son #1 presents a volatile volcano of passion and spite. You have to be ready.


I welcomed the employment routine back in to my daily life cycle. Going into work has its feeling of contribution to the economy. Maybe I am making the world better. The work week was marked with returning to the intellectual speed of thought required to be productive in the workplace. This is challenging after spending the past two weeks with Lego Star Wars, playing as Obi-Won and trying to rid the universe of Clones. As the week progressed, I eased my way back in to professional responsibility. By Friday, I was ready for the weekend as most people are. But as life generally goes, I was thrown a curve. It was official. A company wide message was received outlining the head count reductions coming in Q1 and Q2. It was described that natural attrition and retirement would not reach overhead cost controls alone. This means layoffs. The number, location, and date of the reductions were loosely outlined. While nothing is certain, I must be realistic and believe that my position may be a victim of this reduction. Strangely, I am calm and poised with the message. Especially given the seriousness of the effect this could have on my family. Two sons, a wife, and pets. Not to mention the numerous bills and financial obligations. There is a magnitude to this news, yet I have found myself not overly emotionally about it. I am worried and concerned. However, I have found some sort of peace in chaos through the years of my life.

It is in the terror of change and disruption, I find clarity and direction. I have never found it easy to make life changing decisions when the seas of life are calm. It is in the stormiest of squalls I find that I have the uncanny ability to craft my best decisions and execute my greatest performance goals. The news of potential job loss still comes as a surprise and raises alarm. The timing of this with the economic climate could cause serious changes in lifestyle and stress levels of our household. Today was marked with considering my options, reconnecting with network associates, and playing Lego Star Wars. My employment has never defined me. Yet I am strangely ambitious and find major satisfaction in the intellectual challenges of a profession. It is that which has made me pursue advanced degrees, intriguing employment positions, and intellectual challenges. Ultimately, professional challenges offer an element of uncontrollable chaos in life. The news of change never comes at a convenient time but always comes at the universally appropriate time. The company message on Friday was a re-education that my employment is not the definition of my life. But my employment creates the experiences in my life where I can understand more about my character and what matters most to me. Son #1, Son #2, my wife, my dog, and the cat sometimes. I can’t lose my job; I want to spend obscene amounts of money on bike parts, A/V equipment, and a new car.