Opportunities to learn more about yourself always seem to crop up at the most inopportune times. I suppose that’s what makes these moments the most poignant. They stay with you longer when attention is brought at the moment of inconvenience. For example, if you like to drive with no pants on while texting your Uncle Bob and get in a car wreck doing it, the next time you’ll probably consider wearing trousers so that when you get out of the car to inspect the damage in your ill-contrived desire to be temperately ‘cooler’ when driving, you will not be embarrassed by your bare white behind in plain sight.

I digress. Now I don’t drive without pants nor do I have an Uncle Bob. Regardless, I had one of those moments today where I was educated by the universe on what matters.

A typical Saturday in my house is usually triple booked. There’s never a shortage for activities and obligations. This was the final weekend of operation of the Whistler Bike Park before winter. Wanted to hit that one last time. It was Homecoming at my undergrad Alma Mater. Despite my college football team’s inability to field a successful squad, I still held on to the hope of making the trip to Pullman. Beer flavored water. Lastly and most importantly, Son #1’s weekly ‘soccer’ game was on the schedule.

In the essence of full disclosure, I wasn’t too excited to head to the Panda soccer game today. I didn’t get too much choice in the matter. For one, I wouldn’t want to disappoint Son #1. In fact, he was concerned this morning that I wouldn’t be back in time from my bike ride to make it to his game. And second, I’m the assistant coach on the Pandas’ team. You see, the Pandas haven’t been real competitive over their three games. But the head coach and I continue to work with them on learning to dribble, pass, and score goals. I keep telling myself that they’re only four years old. This point alone has given me an unwanted lesson in learning patience and the appreciation for the purity of fun while playing sports long before winning, losing and statistics.

We’ve taken some beatings. Last Saturday we were trumped by a score somewhere close to 6-0. But we don’t ‘keep score.’ Today no bike jump or keg could have satisfied the unparalleled joy experienced while helping coach the Pandas to their first ‘un-scored’ victory. We saw our team mark their opponents, steal the ball, save goals, change directions, and score literally a dozen goals. There’s a kid on our team that you watch and just know he’s going to have a ton of success in whatever sport he chooses. He’s a great little kid who plays hard, takes instruction, and always gives you the thumbs up for approval. Today, he came uncorked and scored seven goals.

Four year old kid soccer is more like a swarm of bees than a soccer game. All of the kids, minus the ones who are dancing, singing, or not paying attention, create a scrum around the ball with elbows thrown, shoving, and body blows. But today, there were break away goals where our team decided that wrestling for the ball was passé. It was a break through. Son #1’s teammate had those seven goals, but he made many great ‘team style’ plays. Defending and passing to his teammates. But the big picture was that EVERY Panda wanted to play and participate. My position is on the sideline making the substitutions and keeping the kids who are not playing energized. Today, took very little effort to keep them fired up. All of the kids were ready and were constantly asking me to put them in the game. A complete team playing well and having fun is infectious and breeds more fun and excitement. The kids played so hard and had so much fun. As a coach, and a father of a player, I don’t think I could be more proud of our team’s success today, scoring or not.

That leads me to the lessons today. Son #1 had a rough morning. His latest thing is to try and negotiate when he ‘should’ do what he is told. That, getting him to eat his lunch, and getting him to get dressed were all challenges. My wife and I asked him, “Who is going to score a goal today?” God forbid we put too much pressure on our unfocused child. He responded with a despondent, “I’ll try but it’s just so hard.” That remark made me wonder if he was even having fun. I was worried that I was ‘that parent’ focused on pushing his child too hard to ‘ensure’ that the kid was having fun. Pushing to have fun is not right. Lesson #1.

We all wondered what the 7-goal Panda was eating at home to cause this. But he wasn’t the only one that surprised us. Son #1 scored today. As a matter of fact, he scored three unanswered goals and was the second highest scorer on the team. This is the beginning of Lesson #2. No matter what’s going on, when the unreal expectations you have set for your child are beat like a pack mule and are completely blown away, you feel totally throttled with emotion.


After stepping into the scrum and liberating the ball from its oppression, Son #1 broke free at midfield and headed toward the goal. All by himself, he booted in his first goal of the game and the season. Watching this happen was surreal. I wish time would have stopped for me to just cherish that small moment. It happened so fast. That first goal. I was on the other end of the field with the rest of the team but I saw the play develop and was beside myself. As he headed toward the goal, I worried he’d stop dribbling and start dancing. That’s his thing. But he kept on and booted the ball into the goal with authority. When the ball rolled over that line and hit the back of the net, my arms raised high and my eyes welled up with the largest tears of joy. For the next few seconds, I struggled to wipe the tears from my eyes and remain composed. There was cheering but I was so lost in my son’s action that I heard nothing but the silence of a smile all the way across the field. Absolute, undeniable joy and pride.

Son #1 went on to score two more goals today. After that third goal, he ran over to me during the game to inform me of his feat. Three goals. While I haven’t written too much about how I felt, know that no alternate activity could have compared to the purest sense of pride a father can have in his son. Yes, it was only soccer and only three goals, but his actions blew me away today. Lesson #2 is there is nothing more valuable than seeing your child succeed and knowing that he is enjoying that moment in his success. I will always love that.