BEFORE WE GET STARTED, THERE SEEMS TO BE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES WHICH ARE CAUSING MULTIPLE EMAIL UPDATES. MY APOLOGIES ON THIS MATTER.

In honor of the most recent Hallmark holiday which has so effortlessly sucked time, energy, and finances from our home while delivering intrigue, entertainment, and creativity to all, I’ll modestly opine about our latest seasonal extravaganza. All Hallow’s Eve has just passed through our home like a cold autumn wind.

I would strongly assess that this holiday is my lovely life-partner’s favorite. All though, I could easily be incorrect on this based on the volumetric inventory ownership of other holiday décor. Our garage is full of polymeric containment bins full of her seasonal adornments. Christmas probably has the highest inventoried level of accouterments based on my objective assessments. But her pride in procurement and precision in the execution of Halloween ornamentation conclusively suggests that it reigns supreme on our household Hallmark holiday objectification.

I typically detest and avoid most imperatively acknowledged holidays prescribed on the calendar. Halloween in particular, I’ve been quite aloof in the observation of its existence. Don’t get me wrong, I support my wife in her bliss in preparation for said holidays, but I do not share the same, or any, enthusiasm. Moreover, when it comes to donning a guise in some sort of grandeur, I usually participate on a timeline 1/7 that of Halley’s Comet. Uncharacteristically, I chose to unleash a new course of behavior for this holiday to accompany the spirit of the season (and to make my wife happy).

COSTUMES (YOUTH):
The standard of excellence was set this year when my wife and her consortium crafted the Hollywood-equivalent wardrobe plan for the costumes of the children. In total, there are seven disruptive boys in our circle. The ‘board of directors’ for costume design voted and it was unanimously decided that the boys would be the seven dwarfs. And conveniently, my niece would be Snow White. With a quick addition, the son of my brother-in-law’s female partner would replace Son #2 as a dwarf. Son #2 thus became the more appropriate bad apple from the literature.

All of the costumes for the dwarfs were crafted in homemade fashion by my mother, including the apple for Son #2. Needless to say this was a large scope of work and kept everyone busy up until the day before the festivities. My wife burned the midnight oil to stitch on patches and adjust belts. And with the last stitch and poke of a finger, all of the dwarf costumes were fitted, complete, and ready for exhibition on Halloween.


PUMPKINS:
One can’t celebrate or observe Halloween without the acquisition of pumpkins. On a trip to a local market, I discovered the existence of white variety. Without any concepts, I claimed we would ONLY carve white pumpkins this year. Needless to say, the best laid plans never seem to work out as we ended up with orange ones. I had hoped to take the boys to a local pumpkin patch to burn off some of the seasonal exuberance. The local farm had all of the fixings one would want for the season; a corn maze to lose your children in, hay rides for the allergy-challenged, activities for the un-budget-minded consumer, and fields of billions of multicolored Cucurbita Moschata for your picking pleasure.

Needless to say, we never made it to this epicenter of seasonal love due to the affliction of disease in our domicile and the oh-so-often working demands of ‘The Man.’ With two days left before Halloween; we sucked it up and visited the church where Son #1 attends pre-school. This religious facility had its own makeshift patch of pumpkins. We were left with the scrapings and leftovers but were able to narrow our selection to two orange orbs of carving goodness.


COSTUMES (ADULT):
The gauntlet had been thrown down with the execution of the dwarf costumes. My wife informed me that she and her consortium were going to dress as she-devils. Is this different than every day? She concluded with saying that she’d entertain wearing a costume that could be partnered with me, meaning I would need a costume. Knowing my abhorrence for a certain vampire movie based in Forks, Washington, my loving wife suggested that she and I could masquerade as the main adolescent couple of the film. No.

To conform to the predetermined and partially assembled dwarf theme, she and I agreed to follow the Disney lead. However, with a twist and a reincarnation of character, I decided to add my own tinge to our selection. The choice was Alice and the Mad Hatter. But instead of the colorful cartoonlike adornments created by the mouse-eared conglomerate, I chose to take my character along a darker path while my wife morphed her costume into a version consistent with the most popular perused electronic content on the internet. The understatement of the year: she looked ‘very’ good. The Mad Hatter took a turn a la Johnny Depp with my creation of the character in honor of the upcoming Tim Burton release. Goodwill, JoAnn Fabrics, and a moderate amount of construction led to an astonishing product that impressed others, scared kids, and won a costume contest on the Seattle Times.


PARTY:
Our annual observation of All Hallow’s Eve concludes with our hosting of family and friends at our home with dinner, trick-or-treating, and adult beverages. This year was no different except for the number in attendance may have doubled from prior year. At one point during the evening, there were approximately 10 children under the age of seven in costume. Now, multiply that by the accompanying adults and you have a small village. The masses were fed this year with a cornucopia of festive edible selections. Everything from chicken, to ghost cookies, to mummy dogs, to pumpkin seeds were served for consumption. There was no shortage of youth and adult type beverages for drinkability. I too partook in the jovial consumption with a tea cup continually filled with carefully crafted home-brew ales.

We paraded the dwarfs and accompanying children through the neighborhood to pillage families for confectionary sweets and treats. In character, the dwarfs sauntered up and down the walkways of the neighborhood singing the Hi-Ho tune at the top of their lungs. Back at our abode, the dwarfs inspected and consumed their pirate booty. And as for the rest of us, we drank and ate then drank more. It’s always interesting to observe how party patrons disband through out the night leaving the core hard core celebrators left. This is a role I, and others, embellish. So much so that Alice’s blond wig made the rounds for proper photogenic opportunities.


Another successfully executed holiday. Hallmark holiday or not, I admit I had a great time in costume. I will be renting it out next year. You know, it is an award winning concept. All that being said, the stakes will be much higher for next Halloween, both in party execution and costume design.