Occasionally, I’ll be listening to music and a particular song reaches me in a more poignant way than it ever had before. For example, when I wrote about "Things My Father Said,” I had heard it many times before but on that one instance where I needed to ‘hear’ it, there it was in its most emotionally engaging manner. Other times, while listening, a song will play that rewinds the tape on my life and reminds me of a milepost of my life. That’s the great thing about emotionally charged music, when it reaches you, you always remember that moment, that emotion, that instance where you heard it and it ‘meant’ something to you. The song today on the player below goes so much deeper than that.

I remember when my brother died how confused I was at that moment. That ‘moment’ eventually spanned years. But at the period where I realized just how alone I was, I experienced a subset of songs which will forever be logged into my heart permanently that mark the experience and concatenate its effects. Today, a Wednesday, the consistently the worst day of the week, the music from my MP3 player is being piped into my ears by way of noise canceling ear pods. And there it is; a song from the subset of years past. And in an instance, I rewind the tape of my life to that afternoon on the 405 in Orange County. I remember everything about that day. The sun, the temperature, the time of day, where I was going, what I could see on the roadside, the smog, the smell of the air. But the most interesting point was that I remember is relating to the song. It was how the immediate existence of that day with everything I was going through related to not only that moment, but how I knew in the future, the song and I would be even more connected. That day in southern California, this song made me flash forward to this stage of my life where I exist now and the feelings associated with this existence. Strangely circular life is at times. The song today makes me remember everything then which compartmentally contains a memory of flashing forward to today.

I won’t go into the each level of connection I’ve found here in the music. Addressing both my past and my present existence would only concern people for my mental state of health or bore people to death. But metaphorically and explicitly though the song and its lyrics, I'm here and I was there. After that last note is played on the keys, I know it’s going to be just fine.


And like that, where I felt alone, I’m welcomed by an old friend in the form of recorded music. While the memories associated with the song remind me of the pain and tears of stage in my past, it also brings its premonitory abilities of my future to the forefront. The music lends its healing powers in the form of circulatory comfort even if only for five minutes and 27 seconds. Feeling welcome, appreciated and understood, I can sulk down in my chair and just enjoy how the song marks a waypoint in my life.