We try to expose Son #1 to new experiences in an effort to assist the concept of free will. So a few months back after soccer concluded, we asked him,” Do you want to play T-Ball?” His answer; “Are my friends playing?” Let me paraphrase the decision here because that conversation went from long to longer, it’s enough to say that we registered him for T-Ball.


I’d say we’re almost to the midpoint of the season and there are several differences I’ve noted in comparison to soccer. The most obvious; it’s not the same sport. I’m sure this comes as no surprise. But where I’m going with this is more on a philosophical level. I’ve never played either sport ‘formally’ but every boy kicks a ball or swings a bat at some point in life. The major difference is the level of intimacy among the kids, the game, and the even the parents. The lack of ‘energy’ has been a let down at times.



Basically, T-Ball has sucked so far. That might be a little harsh but the parents don’t mix, the kids don’t pay attention, and there is a lot of standing around. I should have coached my own team even though I don’t know the first thing about baseball. Oh wait, yeah I do. You need tobacco. The one thing I do know is how to inspire the kids, get them keyed up, and excited to play. With a little luck just like soccer, I can get them to play their positions and have fun. Because I’m lazy, I chose against coaching my own team or even volunteering on my son’s current team.

Okay, T-Ball hasn’t totally sucked the ENTIRE time. My earlier statement was overdramatic. It’s been pretty fun watch Son #1 swing the bat. He has experience playing T-Ball in his grandparent’s backyard so hitting in practice and the game was nothing new. We don’t watch baseball so surprisingly; he knew how to run the bases with out much coaching. Overall, I’d say that it’s been fun to watch him get after it. He’s had a hit that beamed off of the pitcher’s head. He’s had some good base running. He’s even drawn some great dirt portraits with his foot while in the outfield.



But I think my displeasure is isolated to one area; leadership. I like the two coaches; an old dude and his son-in-law. I think they have a firm grip on the fundamentals of the game and even have a well-oiled practice plan. Where I think they suck is in regard to discipline. Five year old kids are the devil spawn of a gold fish and a road runner. Their memory is shorter than a Tattoo from the ‘Fantasy Island’ and they have more energy than the lightning-struck clock tower in ‘Back to the Future.’ There’s a lot of running, climbing, and screeching. I feel like they could establish a little bit more order and authority with a little louder voice and some ass kicking. We played a team that had a giant as a coach and he was all over the kids in a semi-polite ‘don’t-play-in-the-dirt-or-I-will-beat-you’ sort of way. But seriously, he was a tall dude AND the kids listened. So I’m thinking we need a little of that harshness. Our coach is a nice guy but he’s a grandfather. And by definition, you are supposed to be easygoing. As an example, he emailed all of us parents and was concerned about the amount of ‘horseplay’ in the dugout from kids who weren’t in the game. He went on to request that a parent be stationed in the dugout each inning to regulate. I’m thinking to myself that if he dropped the hammer on these kids, they might sit still a little more and this wouldn’t be needed. Now they’re five year olds and you can’t really control that. But I think you can moderate the goldfish-roadrunner behavior.


And then….we had a breakthrough. The negativity in my feelings has been softened a bit since our last game. I call it a breakthrough because all of the parents were cheering. I can only surmise that we all felt the same way (maybe a mutual disdain for boring T-Ball). All of the kids played hard and it was a blast watching them make plays and have fun. I sat behind the backstop in what I call the best seat in the house. Kids were hitting the ball hard and running fast while on offense. On defense, the coach was calling in to the players to watch for the ball and where to throw it next. Kids were nodding in confidence after the instruction. Now, there was still a ton of screwing off in the dugout and outfield. I can’t expect a miracle over night. But I think I can speak for all of the parents there that this was the best time we collectively had at a T-Ball game.



So now that I’ve flamed the coaching and the game here, I feel better. And now that we have had a solid game under our belt where even the parents/fans participated, I like T-Ball and feel great going in to the remaining practices and games. I still might coach so I can yell, I mean ‘instruct’ kids in how to play and respect the game.