There are very few things in the world that intrigue and frustrate me more than childhood development. I have an analytical mind which follows a prescribed order of operations through a logical and predictable sequence of events defined by scientific proof and cause and effect.

And while there are thousands of ‘doctors’ in the world who profess that childhood development is a science and have developed theories and quantum relationships with the mental growth of children and published millions of papers and books on this very subject, I don’t believe there is any rhyme or reason to kids growing up. I’m a non-believer. I think there is more left to chance and how much you beat your kids rather than some sort of genetic makeup and a crusty old doctor’s thesis paper.


So before you call CPS, let’s launch into the next chapter of Son #2’s development.

If you recall, I mentioned how childhood development frustrates me. Let’s use this case study to discuss the method of communication Son #2 uses to connect with the world. Screaming. There was a small window where he used sign language to ask for things. But that brief moment has passed and now the only sign we get are him throwing his cup or hitting is arm while adorning a furled brow. While I don’t condone abusing one’s self and hurling dishes when you don’t get fish crackers, I do find the 20 month old ‘angry’ face wildly entertaining.

Back to the screaming.

It’s annoying, it happens ALL of the time, and is independent of mood and location. In the car, screaming. At a restaurant, screaming. While brushing his teeth, screaming (with toothpaste spewing out). While eating pizza, screaming. And it’s loud. So much so that I’m glad we don’t live in Belltown. The SPD would be issuing a noise ordinance violation for the sound pressure levels of Son #2.

The screaming gets so loud and frustrating you got to wonder at what point is he going to lose his voice. Ever? No? Then where are my ear plugs?

But for all that is annoying about this stage of his communication with the outside world, there is the sweet and innocent form of acknowledgment when he is able to indicate his interests. The intriguing development here is the point that Son #2 now has a vocabulary. And while the screams are indiscernible shrill tones of bombs exploding and limbs being ripped off of baby sheep, the innocent and sweet sounds of verbal recognition make you smile every time.

Communicating with Son #2 is kind of like the game of golf. It’s agitating yet with the addictive need to succeed. In golf you can have four or five horrible rounds. You keep going out for more, hoping that your swing comes back on the next tee. And when that one perfect swing happens, you are good for the next four or five shitty rounds. The tank is replenished.

With Son #2, all of the screaming equates to those nearly intolerable rounds of golf. And that one time, when he runs up to you smiling and says ‘wa-wa-wa’ with his tongue wagging left to right, you know he’s saying watermelon in Son #2 gibberish and that’s your ‘one stroke’ back into the round. His vocabulary is expanding and most of the words are much more obvious than watermelon. “Fish,” “cheese,” “juice” which coincidentally means beer, “guy,” and “bruba” for brother are just a few of the examples.

But the punchline is that the intriguing part of his development is his innocent acknowledgement. He’s so funny as he will walk up to you and point at the fan, say ‘gan,’ you acknowledge the fan and what he said, and in his sweet little voice minus all of the screaming, he will wave his tiny hand at the fan and say ‘hi’ in the most precious and innocent tone.


The sweet sound of his little ‘hi’ with the accompanying hand wave keeps you hooked no matter how intense the mutilated rabbit like screaming was only moments earlier. And just last night, Son #2 chose to trade sleep for screaming. He was inconsolable. A poptart, milk, water, a beating…well maybe not that, and nothing worked. I think eventually, he just wore out. My wife and I did. Ahh, the intrigue and frustration of childhood development. Is it a science? I think it’s more chaos theory than anything, which by chance, is science. Son #2 wears us out with the high maintenance attention and eardrum piercing shrieks of displeasure.

But like a horrible round of golf, his screams and tantrums are short lived compared to the sweet tone of his voice as he recognizes the world around him. “Blog” – “Hi!” (insert hand wave here)