Don’t you hate when you get volunteered for something? It usually happens when you don’t even have a clue it’s occurring. For example, not showing up to a work meeting typically gets you nominated for some inexplicable and unrewarding office activity like empty-bottled-water focal. Suck.

Somehow, I was thrust into head coaching my son’s soccer team. Also, I really didn’t think Son #1 was going to play this season. But my wife brainwashed the both of us into the sport again. Last soccer season, I was an assistant coach on his team. It was just the right amount of commitment with not too much responsibility. What parent would want me to be their kid’s coach considering my potty mouth and poor attitude?

So I thought I’d volunteer again this season as an assistant. That didn’t last long as Kent Parks called and inquired whether I’d be the head coach for Son #1’s team. That sounds like a lot of responsibility. My wife felt my impacted schedule could handle one more commitment and spread the word about me coaching. Coerced into it, I called Kent and committed. Looking back, those were a great eight weeks of obligation I never thought I wanted to commit to.

In August, I picked up the coaches packet which had the roster, schedule, rules, head trauma forms, and every other legal and/or informative memo imaginable. This is Kindergarten-1st Grade soccer, right? What’s with all the propaganda? We had a team of 12 kids; 10 boys and two girls. The Angels; it didn’t sound like an entirely threatening name when compared to the Meteors or Mustangs. But no one laughed after we throttled other teams.


When the season started, we had a variety of skills, experience, and interest in the game. Focus at the first two practices was scattered for both the players and me. Numerous searches on the Google for drills for 5 year olds left me with not much. Wouldn’t have mattered, the kids just wanted to play. So I was reserved to doing a few kicking and dribbling drills and then on to scrimmaging to introduce fundamentals in a game scenario. That seemed to work the best.

This league played on a much bigger field than last season. It was eight versus eight players WITH goalies. The great thing was that we never had a shortage of kids wanting to play goalie. Because it was a novelty, every kid jumped at the chance to play in the net. And after the first game of the season, we never gave up more than one goal per game. Stonewallin’ suckas.

Kent likes to promote good sportsmanship religiously. Emails, letters, and other reminders were sent to us coaches to keep our players’ parents off of the refs and to not laugh at kids when they get shelled in the head. Additionally, we weren’t supposed to keep score during the games or our overall record. We’d be idiots to think our kids can’t count and aren’t conscious of how they are playing. During games after we were hammered goals on the opposition, our kids would do victory laps by me for a high five and a reminder that we have ‘x’ goals now coach.

Without keeping score or accounting for our record, we were 6-2 for the season. We were destroyed 5-1 in our first game. After that, no team scored more than one goal against us. As a matter of fact, we played the team from that first game again and shut them out 3-0. It’s our second loss is the game that really resonates with me. If I had to pick, it was my favorite game despite losing 1-0. Even at an offensive disadvantage, we spent the entire game was on the opposition’s side of the field. We just kept pounding them over and over. It wasn’t until late in the game when they finally got past midfield and made a goal.

In this game I saw so much teamwork and togetherness. There was a unity. They were friends having fun and the game was beginning to come naturally to them. They had collectively turned a corner. I was so proud how hard they played leaving everything on the field. We were disappointed in the loss, but the effort and teamwork was epic. In each game, our kids kept progressing. We started with varying degrees of skill in each kid. But by the end, each kid was amazing and we were working as a team. Not to mention that I really saw a competitive fire in the kids burning brighter each week. They wanted to win. It was apparent at practice and during games.

And then the last game. A little bitter sweet as the season was coming to an end. The last game was a massacre of the other team, 7-0. We had four different kids score goals and we dominated defensively. But more importantly, the kids were laughing and smiling the entire game. It was light-hearted, except when I substituted them out for a water break. Chirping in my ear, letting me know they wanted back in. I couldn’t believe the effort of everyone. Stealing the ball and passing through defenders to a teammate for a breakaway. Things just seemed to click.

At the beginning of the season, I had no idea what I was doing, or where we were going as a team. I didn’t want the kids to have a horrible experience nor have the parents pissed at my techniques. And now, I can’t even imagine a week without my team. Thursdays and Saturdays are sure going to be different now. This has been such an empowering experience. Much better than the previous season. It was such an honor sharing time with the kids, teaching them teamwork, and inspiring them to win. I’m glad I could be a positive role model in their lives. More people should aspire to be this to kids. After all, they are the legacy we leave behind. Of course my team leaves a wake of dismantled teams in their path. Don’t hate, my team could beat your team too.