One thing this blog affords me is the ability to channel my emotions and thoughts in a single source delivery method to an audience of many or an audience of one. I am guilty of the fact that I love to hear my own voice whether in print or in pontification. But more importantly, I just hope to reach other souls out there and, with any luck, positively change lives. I am less about inventions, medical science, and politics, and more about lifting hearts through openness and transparency. Too many people live under a vale of secrecy over their feelings. I digress.

With the passing of Valentine’s Day, a Hallmark holiday which I will not subscribe to, I am left thinking about where my heart lies. People who know me know that I am very appreciative of the souls who have carried me through my tough times and I am incredibly loyal to them. So this entry marks praise for someone so important in unspoken yet heartfelt ways that I felt deeply inclined to write a passage. Not enough praise goes to the woman I call my wife. Publically and personally, I try to make it clear the value she adds to my life. But I feel today that sort of promotion has been insufficient because her spirit is so beautiful. So I am writing about her worth here.

My wife has had to adapt to the emotional turbulence of my life. That is no short order. She has been strong and accommodating, stern and compassionate, mean and supportive. All of these administered at the appropriate times and with the appropriate dosage. I’ve been thinking lately that it is hard to capture in words the depth she has burrowed into my heart. So why take on this challenge of creating an entry about her? The answer is simple. She has challenged me to become a better person and as a result, I have experienced emotional growth and love that I would have never dreamt of.

She and I have known each other for about two decades. That is 20 years for those of you who are mathematically challenged. If you are scoring at home, that is over half of my life I have known my wife. And she hasn’t left me yet, you say? We have grown up together in different circles, found our own goals and dreams, crossed paths, and reunited as we matured. We have only been married five years but this long history can unequivocally help sculpt your future as a couple. You know each other inside and out. Over the years, she learned a lot about me and my personal setbacks. She was very patient in allowing me to discover myself when, in fact, she all ready knew the answers I was in search of.

She held the keys at times, maybe not knowing, but unconditionally supporting me and giving me the love that I needed to make better decisions. There were many times that I know it would have been easier to turn away, but she chose to stand with me in the winds of despair and hold my hand. Am I glamorizing or stylistically writing it here? Nope. One example, I lost my brother a few years ago and wanted to die. Literally. She didn’t let that happen. Over the years, I have been ill, depressed, left out, ashamed, lost, and misguided. Every time, I have felt loved by her. There is no way to describe the confidence that this gives you. Like nothing can destroy you. Through her eyes, I have really learned more about myself than through any other format. Reflecting back on the years, I can come up with so many times where her words and actions have steered me off of the shoulder and back on to the roadway. At times, sure, I hate that she is right or tries to tell me what to do. One thing that I’ve realized is that she is always honest and pure with me. Together, we have shared our dreams and built the foundation of the future, together. One thing I still do is make mix tapes, always have. The media and delivery have changed over the years but the message in the music and cover art are still as important as they ever were. In a futile attempt to capture our life to song, for Valentine’s Day I created an album called Sanctuary. Twelve songs outlining how I feel about her and our life together. It is the soundtrack to the story of my wife as I see it.

I am pretty lucky to have fallen into such a great relationship. Fortunately, I’ve been able to hold on to her (or maybe I am her project to manage). In any event, I am blessed to have her in my life. She has given me Sons #1 and #2. Which, unfortunately for her, are pretty much clones of their father. I wanted a daughter for so long that it hurt. But these two boys. These two wonderful boys are gifts from her that are so much more valuable than anything I have ever had near me. Except one thing: her heart. Sorry boys, your Mom is #1 with me.


Valentine’s Day; we don’t celebrate it. It’s not our thing. But I believe in my heart that she deserves to be acknowledged in how incredibly influential she has been in my life. There is no way one day would do her justice. Nor would a year. I can only hope that through my lifetime, I will be able to give her the love and compassion she deserves, fulfill her dreams, and pay her back for saving my life. I can’t pretend that I have everything figured out with us. But at least I know she and I will find the answers together. I love you Yvonne.