I often fancy myself as an innovative thinker. At times, it takes a major muse to wedge out those ideas from my head. Here’s an example: One night in LB many a year ago, the morning after a night of drinking and debauchery, I derived one of my greatest philosophies. The three greatest inventions of man.

In the shower, a solace of creative bliss, I pondered just how fantastic running water was at that point. Soothing and satisfying, cleaning our nooks and crannies, and sobering our minds. Running water; invention one. The next revelation happened while brushing my teeth. After drinking and plate after plate of nachos, foul breath and the need for toothpaste arise. With each brush, your teeth are nudged closer to cleanliness and your stank breath is reduced. Your mouth and soul have been cleansed. Toothpaste; invention two.

I’ve mentioned two of the three items. The third is the most epic; beer. It’s what led to the discovery of running water and toothpaste. I could sing the virtues of beer in this entry but instead I’ll opt for a neutral party’s expertise. The importance of beer has been substantiated by an independent source; The Discovery Channel.


This channel broadcast the most epic program. “How Beer Saved the World.” It’s as if my very thoughts were channeled to these producers. Our mastery over the world started with one great invention. Not the wheel, not the car, not the airplane. The greatest invention of all is beer. It’s changed the world over and over again. And here’s how:

Once nomadic Hunter-gathers stopped their wondering and started farming. They swapped caves for houses and created the first civilization; Mesopotamia. Historians call this the Agricultural Revolution. And you know what started it? Barley.

Barley was domesticated by early civilizations to make beer. Proof was found by archaeologists in the residue on the walls of ancient jugs. What they proved was that beer was discovered by accident. The ancient jugs were filled with barley. During a rainstorm, water filled these vessels. The moisture allowed the barley to produce sugars and natural yeast to create CO2 and alcohol. Somebody tasted it and at that moment, life looked a little more interesting.

The intoxicating and feel good effects of beer started a historic cascading effect of innovation and invention that changed our world.

Simple production of beer couldn’t keep up with demand. Older growing techniques of scoring the earth and planting the seeds gave way to the invention of the plow. Some ground was not suitable for growing which led to irrigation. As production increased, transportation was necessary. From the need of transportation, beer invented the wheel and carts. As the scale of farming increased, there was the need for borders and property. This need forced the creation of mathematics and measurement. All because of beer. But beer’s greatest early world invention was none of these. It came by way of bookkeeping. Beer created writing as farmers needed to record the trade of beer as a commodity.


Ancient Egyptians saw beer as a gift from the Gods. The daily ration for building the pyramids was the ancient equivalent of a coupon for beer. It was a currency. The pay was a gallon of beer a day for ancient workers. It took 213,414,717 gallons of beer to build the pyramid of Giza. Beer was a vital source of nutrition. Even school boys drank it. It was also used to treat the sick as well. Ancient beer beat modern medicine by 3,000 years.

Beer kept people alive in the Middle Ages of Europe. Water was not safe in the Middle Ages as it contained fecal matter. However, when the water was boiled and brewed into beer the fecal matter and bacteria were gone. Purifying water, beer saved thousands. Everyone drank it to stay alive. And monks were at the center, brewing beer which drove many to church to drink. It’s a Godsend.


Beer was critical in the creation of modern capitalism. Our Founding Fathers had one thing in common, Washington, Adams, Franklin…they were all brewers. Franklin once opined, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Even before that, the pilgrims on the Mayflower would’ve never made it to the new world without beer. Like the Middle Ages, the water on the ship was impure and beer was the only way to survive. Beer even influenced where early settlers landed. The pilgrims ran out of beer on the ship and were forced to land at Plymouth to reorganize.

Beer also launched the first social network of the new world. The tavern was the first social connector before the internet, email, and Facebook. Over beer, our early patriots fumed about British oppression. The Sons of Liberty discussed revolution over more and more beer. The tavern was the epicenter where revolutionary activity was planned and coordinated. Beer was pivotal in the American Revolution and becoming independent.

With our independence, beer next took on disease. Beer was the basis for the birth of modern medicine. Louis Pasteur invented pasteurization which has been linked to milk. However, he studied beer first. His discovery proved beer was alive with bacteria which were causing it to spoil. If bacteria can make beer sick, can it make people sick? The answer gave way to Germ Theory. From Germ Theory, doctors began to understand vaccination and antibiotics, and more importantly, washing one’s hands.


Beer’s next great challenge was taking on excessive heat that was ruining food and people. The first refrigeration system was developed by the brewing industry to keep beer cold. Ice was too difficult to use due to its weight and limited lifecycle. Necessity is the mother of invention, and the need to create artificial refrigeration was driven by beer. Refrigeration meant A/C, the manufacture and storage of medicine, the ability to keep organs alive, and ice cream.

To meet the new demand, factories were created to produce and bottle beer. It wasn’t the car that led us to economic power, it was beer; a decade before Henry Ford. Beer production automated the production line to create bottles. The bottle making machine was incredibly important in the evolution of manufacturing. By automating the production of bottles, child labor was nearly eliminated. Bottle making was this most significant offender in child labor.


While all impressive, beer gave us something to drink at the ball game. Without beer, we would still be living in caves. In a moment of absolute clarity, I concocted the three greatest inventions of all time. However, one of those great inventions saved us all. Beer changed the world and we owe our lives and prosperity to it.