Thursday, November 29, 2012
How Many Mountains Will We Conquer? We'll Never Know Until We Begin
Posted by Punk Rock Dad at 10:29 PM
Have you noticed something missing from the internet these
last few months? Something indescribable
that’s left you feeling unfulfilled? If
you haven’t, you must be living in the Middle East in a tent out in the desert
with no internet access. Fool, I‘ve been
off the blogging grid for six months. No
contempt for the system. No middle
finger toward the man. No inspirational
opined indoctrinations. Now it’s time to
make my foray back into the digital ecosystem of the blogosphere.
Two things kept me from my routine entries here. Work and kids; which at times are one and the
same. This entry won’t be about
work. I have a new lease on life and I
don’t talk about work online. It’s bad
for business until the business is done.
This entry is to remind people of my offspring and more specifically Son
#2 and his blatant disregard for that which is the world.
Son #2 always had a knack for establishing his will at a
very early age. Let’s call it at -0.1 years old, he decided he was coming at a
specific date and time and no quack was going to schedule his earthly entry.
Should've known then. Then fast forward into his infant months. Would Son #2
take a bottle? No. It was a boob or nothing. Now the male readership can most
likely sympathize with the lack of negotiation available when addressing such an
obsession. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. And then he went straight
to solid food. No baby food. But not
just any solid food; eggs and only eggs for months. Pizza eventually became the
meal of choice for about a week or two.
Now he won't eat pizza, only breadsticks. But this entry isn't about his eating habits;
it’s about our journey as a family to help him through his challenges.
This last year has been eye opening when it came to
balancing work and life while evaluating the right thing to do for Son #2. A
few years back, we noticed something odd about how he reacted to noise and crowds
and other stimuli. He also had unique sensory reactions to things. We sought a
close friend’s advice. After all, she knew us pretty well and had been Son #1's
nanny. In her opinion, she felt it couldn't hurt to have an expert evaluate Son
#2. She recommended we reach out to Seattle Children's Hospital. We discussed
what this meant and what we were indirectly admitting to. But in a leap of
faith, we called Seattle Children's and got on the waiting list for an
evaluation. Then we patiently waited.
About 6 months went by and we got a call. We had an
appointment. The process was starting. And as is with most life changing
decisions, we wondered if this course was right. Lengthy emotional
conversations with my wife and soul searching marked the next few days. The
question was simply complex. Do we have Son #2 evaluated and risk hearing what
we internally worried of, or was this all in our head like many people kept
saying. The evaluation happened.
And the answers weren’t exactly what we hoped to hear. But this first exercise validated the rotten
feeling that had lodged itself deep in the collective gut of the family unit. The evaluators opened a network to other
resources; programs, studies, other doctors, families, etc. The most important part of this evaluation was
the recommendations for next steps. It
helped give us direction.
It’s been months since I've had the time or inspiration to capture
life on this medium. After weathering what may have been my most challenging months
of my professional obligation and now staring at what seems to be an
insurmountable peak of business travel, today felt like an appropriate time to
key in some hard earned thoughts. This
last year has been a journey for us. But
you realize early on as a parent, that you just when you thought you didn’t
have any energy to continue on, there’s ALWAYS more you can muster up.
And while I can’t fix how my little guy processes
information and reacts, I can help him develop tools to cope. Today’s lesson is in personal perseverance;
not just in me or my wife, but in my youngest son and his fighting spirit. All it takes is one moment in time with the
appropriate selection of music to remind you that your solid spiritual core is
nonnegotiable.
If i can offer one piece of fatherly advice to my youngest
son, it would be this: You can conquer this and you can conquer anything.
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Dear Monkey,
On dark nights like this, I’m left with my thoughts and
reflections on the miles in front and behind us. I have to remind myself that
this is a marathon and not a sprint to the end.
One day soon, you’ll be aware of yourself and how people have judged and
will continue to judge you. Just in the
short time of this last year, we’ve seen just how different people react to you
and us. It will get better. You will be better.
Because of our ‘like mindedness’ we don’t always see eye to
eye and struggle to communicate. My patience
and slight denial may contribute to the overall challenge. But all of that being said, you’re a very special
priceless gem in my life. It’s been a
hard lesson to learn that I can’t fix everything. The way you process information is what makes
you unique. It’s also what makes me want
to shield you from the judgment of others.
But I can’t. You need to grow and
adjust to the world. It won’t change for
you.
But if there’s one small thing I could pass on to you it
would be this: Always know that what makes you different from others makes you
uniquely special to me and your mother.
These differences in you are what emphasize your importance to this
world.
But it won’t be easy.
The system is designed for normal.
You and I aren’t normal. Embrace
your innate differences, defy the normal, question those who challenge you, and
remain true to how you feel in your soul.
You do this and you’ll weather all of the emotional storms
and come out the other side stronger and more balanced than those that judge
you. As your dad, it’s hard to stomach
that I won’t be able to shield you from adversity. But what I can do is give you the tools to be
able to succeed against your challenges.
I’ll hold your hand as long as I can.
Overcome with Love,
Dad
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Like so often with life events, I seem to gravitate to music
that audibly illustrates my convictions.
The song here will always remind me of coming to grips with how hard
this will be for my son and our family.
Leave it to one of my favorite bands of all time to strike that perfect
nerve. As the song explains, you never
know just how much you can conquer and overcome until you try. But along the way, the fear and the loss seem
almost insurmountable. But you’re never
given more than you can handle. With Son
#2, we’ll overcome. He’ll overcome. We’re hardwired to perseverance no matter the
challenge.
Please listen and enjoy!
Please listen and enjoy!
1 Comment:
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As parents we want to protect but I feel that the best protection is strength and self perseverance.. "you can conquer... we are here to celebrate the triumph and challenges"
honesty,love and support
This is a journey...... go
forward... do not be afraid.