In a dramatic turn of events, Son #2 recently decided to operate in a bi-pedal fashion under his own power. For those of you following the developmental saga of Son #2, it’s no surprise that he’s always been behind the power curve and operating to some unknown schedule of growth. Whether it was breast feeding and switching to hamburgers, skipping children’s books in lieu of video games, his one-day lead on his due date, or this whole mobility sham, Son #2 does things his way. In the matter of 48 hours, Son #2 went from needing adult assistance to navigate from room to room in an upright position, to bracing himself against a wall or solid object to traverse the periphery of a room, to pushing off and waddling like a drunk old lady from room to room wailing with laughter and pride along the way. Let’s set the stage:

My wife left on a mission to sell direct sales items to other culinary-obsessed female customers. That left me alone and unsupervised with our two kids. Son #1, all he wanted to do was play Lego Indiana Jones while his mother was away. Son #2, he’s merely looking for an open door or gate to escape through when no one is looking. After we escorted their mother to the door and saw her on her way, we turned back to walk to the living room. And then it happened, with the largest unescorted distance to that point, Son #2 pushed off the wall and followed us into the living room. He walked past Son #1 and I and directly to the bin which holds the Wiimotes. Video games = valuable incentives at any age.


What makes this story all the more interesting was the fact that Son #2 recognized that Son #1 and I were going to fire up the Wii for a little mind numbing entertainment. He took it upon himself to let his maiden voyage greater than two or three steps to be across our dining room, around the corner, and into the living room walking over to the Wii accessories. I feel honored that my laziness and addictions inspired my youngest son in to mobile freedom. Maybe I shouldn’t have set such a high level of expectation.

The magnitude of the moment was definitely not lost on Son #2. He shrieked the entire way. Of course, Son #1 and I were literally shitting ourselves we were so happy with the outcome. Our antics, lack of volume control, and hysteria only continued to feed Son #2 and the blood curdling yelps of pride and satisfaction. Despite the inability to hear for a short term after the event, I couldn’t be any more proud of that little guy. We joke about his development or lack thereof, but he took a large step (pun intended) away from being our baby and toward becoming our little boy.

In the following days, he’s become more confident in his drunk-like meandering through the house. Now he picks objects up and relocates them in other rooms. Are DVD's missing? Check under the couch. Where’s the TV remote? Check the cupboard. In the instance of bi-pedal freedom, he changed. Now I look at him and I don’t see the little baby, a diaper bag, and a stroller. I see a little boy full of trouble and joy. I see a little boy on the verge of having his own dreams. I see a little boy becoming a man. All of this is premature because he still craps himself, can’t walk for more than 30 feet, and requires an arsenal of snacks and supplies to leave the house. But I’m starting to see the future for him and I’m starting to worry, just as I did for Son #1.


Now it’s not a question of growing up or developing on the average percentile for growth. It’s about growing up too quickly and putting this small minutia of development far in the rear view mirror too soon and watching as he moves away to college and dates trashy girls. Feeling now like my life is on fast forward, all I can do is watch and try to take in everything, write down thoughts, capture that emotion in a bottle, and remember everything just the way it is right now before it’s gone. This is the last time I’ll see my youngest son walk for the first time. Ever. And that makes me sad. But it makes me hopeful for the next big thing in his life.

For the first time in both of my sons’ lives, I’m afraid for them to grow up. Some of it’s the obvious; the apples didn’t fall far enough from the tree. But the remainder of it is that my days of protecting and providing are now running against the sands of time. I’ll always be their dad, but there are a finite number of days until they are on their own and don’t need me to intervene when they fall or wrestle the Wiimotes from them. I wanted Son #1 to grow up to me my best friend and wanted Son #2 to always be my little baby. Now, I just don’t want to lose them or lose the emotional satisfaction that seeing their accomplishments deliver.

When you spend the majority of your conscious day working for the man, you look forward to the solace of your own abode and the compassion of your family unit. It’s easy to lose sight of the comings and goings and daily happenings around the house when you are chained to a desk. It’s no different in my house. Coming home from the office always presents and interesting set of daily circumstances. Will I lose my patience with a driver who seems to have lost his or her ever-loving mind? Will I speed down a suburban street ‘above’ the speed limit only to have a local yahoo on a motorcycle chase me to my house, pound on my front door, and scold my wife in to lecturing me about posted speed limits? Or, will I enter the house only to hear the siren-like screaming of children being firmly, but parentally, accosted by their mother for the latest in disorderly conduct?

Typically, it is the latter of the list above.

I like dinner. My kids like dinner. My wife, I think, likes dinner. The problems lie on both sides of the dinner equation. For the parents, it’s the patience required to prepare the dinner. On the kids’ side, it’s the patience required to wait for the dinner to be prepared and the ability to outlast the parents when the dinner is not to their expectations. The stage has been set, dinner is on the table, now for the drama.

Son #2 used to eat everything we put in front of him. If you recall from previous posts, he skipped the bottle and baby food phases of development. He likes adult sustenance. Well, he did until recently. Son #2 believes, or at least I’m interpreting the screams as this, that it’s his God given right to eat cupcakes and crackers for dinner. He used to like meat and veggies. Now, it’s fish crackers and confectionary goodness followed by a glass of soy milk. Unfortunately for him, and my ears, this isn’t an acceptable meal. Let the screaming and arm waving begin.



Son #1 is a different breed. He has developed a liking for certain food products. And by that, I mean two specific items. The first being French fries, nondescript fried potato goodness. They can be crinkle cut, shoe strings, or tater tots. The second food of preference is chicken of the crispy outer covering variety. According to Son #1, this is how chicken naturally occurs in the universe. Apparently, we have visited KFC a few too many times. No matter how many times I try to explain that chicken exists in many other forms, some much more healthfully than others, he denies my culinary claims.



We don’t eat cupcakes and crispy chicken every night so you can tell there are 'disagreements' at the dinner table.

Because of such differences in opinion and the heated conversations which occur while seated at our table, I’ve devised a way to make this experience much more enjoyable. A drinking game.

Each time that Son #2 throws a veggie on the floor, points toward the cookie dish, and exclaims, “Cup,” we drink. Each time Son #1 asks the food related question, “Have I had this type of chicken before?” we truthfully answer, “Yes,” and he then retorts with an enthusiastic, “No I haven’t!” we drink. It functions on the same premise of the Sarah Palin drinking game. Each time she utters the word “maverick” a player takes a swig. Simple rules, just like Palin, for a simple game.

An unsuccessful dinner will ALWAYS lead to a successful drunk. Feel free to modify these rules to fit your household.

In all seriousness, we have defiance and crying at the dinner table. And typically, it comes from all four members of my family. Have we have created a little bit of this defiance and reactionary behavior by the way we portray ourselves? There’s a little nature here where the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. But I think nurture might be heavily outweighing it in this instance. I’ve been thinking lately about how much children attempt to emulate their parents.

Think about it. How many times have you watch little Johnny pick up the phone, place it to his ear, and pretend to talk? We all think that it’s cute. Son #2 does it and we pretend he is calling his grandmother. But the reality is that he learned this from observing us. Why would dinner behavior be any different? I’m concerned that when we discipline our children, we raise our voices, especially if at first shot they don’t listen. They’re learning that it’s acceptable to raise their voices. I can’t help but wonder, are we raising our voices too often at our children? At times during dinner, it feels like it’s a no win game.

Most times, dinner is full of humor. It’s the occasional circumstance like the other night which paints a negative picture. Arguing about eating, timeouts, and early bed times are sometimes necessary but still sting afterward just the same. I love my two boys and need to remember to reflect back on my resolutions as well as how I like to be treated as a person and project that on to them.

Until then, the drinking game is a great idea. Here's to college and everything I learned there. Bottoms up!

Once again it’s time for the monthly installment of “New Music Monday.” January had a mass influx of new and diverse music into our catalog. Some of the additions were rediscoveries and some were new releases by definition. I think at the time of writing this entry, we’ve added a total of nine albums to our catalog. While that marks the biggest growth in the history of our catalog, there was an odds on favorite to be reviewed here. Again, the story is the same, unbeknownst to me; one of my favorite musicians was releasing a new album. It had once been said that if I was granted a fall from grace against my wife, it would be with this artist. This was by my wife’s own admission as well, mind you. And today is this artist's birthday!


As you may have predicted based on the above, or not, if you nothing of my obsessions, Alicia Keys released her new record “The Element of Freedom.” Thank Jebus I watch the horrible comedy of SNL as she was a recent musical guest. Unless you are peddling a new movie or album, or are a washed up basketball star, you don’t get to enjoy attendance on SNL. After her appearance, my immediate presence was felt on Lala.com as usual for procurement. Unlike other albums, I will pick up the ‘hard’ album too.

Get it here at Lala.com
http://www.lala.com/#album/504684635190067450/Alicia_Keys/The_Element_Of_Freedom

After the first listen of “The Element of Freedom” I wasn’t disappointed. Vintage soul with a bend toward the more contemporary R&B of a new generation. This is not your cookie cutter, radio friendly urban R&B like Rhianna and the like. There’s a tune or two which could easily translate to the radio. However, the beauty in the music is its mood altering ability in your aural sobriety. Get it? It’s mellow, inspirational, uplifting, introspective, and whoopee making music. However, in a vain more like the popular contemporaries, on this record there is more experimentation on the reproduction of Alicia’s voice. Traditionally, a woman with her lungs didn’t need help. But I get the feeling that with a few of the songs, the production engineers are trying to appeal to the new radio generation of soul listeners. What makes Alicia great is her full, low-register singing. Don’t need production effects for that.

While “The Element of Freedom” is a little more exploratory from the production side, it’s not a let down and can stand proudly next to her other records. Since I was introduced to Alicia Keys’s version of soul in 2000, I‘ve never been disappointed. Here are a few songs from this album:

Distance and Time – This is the prototypical Alicia Keys tune and that is not a bad thing. A driven urban beat, elegant pianos accompaniment, and soaring lyricism. The topic of love over distance is obvious and clichéd. But Alicia makes it hers and you feel the desperation in her voice. It’s convincing. During my first listen to this song, I caught myself lost in the depth of a photo of my wife and me. The song has the ability to ‘work’ and takes you right to your core feelings about your partner.

Wait Til They See My Smile – This is my favorite song on the record. The urgency of the piano makes your blood pump. The synth is interestingly used in this song and is very appropriate. It has an Information Society-type appeal. Musically, it escalates with each verse sung by Ms. Keys. And speaking of the verses, the lyrics of this song present an unrelenting desire to succeed no matter the obstructions or obstacles in your path. There are times in your life where a song makes a difference. This one has it.

Empire State of Mind (Part II) – This is a rendition of a track she joined on with Jay-Z. This version is much more of a classic soul version and shows the entire vocal range of Ms. Keys. When she hits the high register, the hair on the back of your neck stands. This song is incredibly visual in regards to her description of the big city. But moreover, you feel as a product of the big city, she is grateful of her beginnings and it has been intrinsically inspiring.

The one element consistent in all Alicia Keys albums, including “The Element of Freedom,” is the slow buildup in the songs as well as the album. There is no “BAM, I’M UP IN YOUR FACE!” The slow reveal and burn through out the album add to the experience. That’s what makes her blow (literally) by her contemporaries. But she also experiments with a new blend in the music. The production brings in more synthesized stylings in percussion a la Prince. It works well in concert with her soaring vocals and gospel-like piano playing.



Overall, I like how the album comes together. Alicia doesn’t let you down using what makes her great, grace and soul, yet remaining real and humble. She adds a slight wrinkle to the production with auto-tune and synths on a handful of tracks while not defeating her expertise. I had the opportunity to meet and casually chat about music with her once. Her grace, creativity, and compassion were very clear to me during our conversation. Clearly one of the best. Ever.