It shouldn’t take the holidays to get introspective.  But unfortunately, we all get so rutted in our everyday rat race that we often forget to hit the brakes and just breathe in everything that’s around us.  We’re just so focused on the next moment of our lives and in such a rush to get there that we’ve lost track of the joy in the journey.  For once this week, forget about rushing to your next moment and breathe in.

We spend every day saying, ‘I can’t wait until the weekend.’  We spend the evenings with our children working on their homework saying, ‘I can’t wait until summer break.’  It’s always ‘I can’t wait until’ something. Everything is such a rush.  I’m no different.

Every winter I look forward to the two weeks off I have around Christmas time.  This year, I had customers in town taking delivery of aircraft until December 23 at 10PM.  Right up until the very end.  I was bummed.  I didn’t get to take my time off.  Every day I rushed and hurried through every action, every interaction, and every conversation.  Hurry….let’s get to the winter break.  Don’t get caught up in the journey, just get to the destination.  Hurry.

So here I am.  Now what?  I’m made it to my break.  Now what?  What can I rush toward now?

To get me off this speeding railway of life, I did one thing, albeit very inadvertently. I listened.  I was stuck in traffic and there was no way I could rush.  I was stopped and the music on the stereo had my attention.

Anyone who knows anything about me knows one specific thing about me; I love music.  It’s incredibly important to me.  The right music marks waypoints in your life.  And similarly it can provide a soundtrack to your life.  I’ve always thought the sense of hearing was just as strong as the sense of smell.  Hearing the right piece of music at the precise moment in your life can change everything for you and you’ll ALWAYS remember that moment.  You can look back through my entries here and you’ll see evidence of it weaving through everything from the soundtracks of the entries, to the design, to the topics, and right down to the titles of my entries.  But this time of year I was ignoring what the music around me was telling me.

To be fair, this time of year I easily get into a funk.  I’m usually sick with some sort of elusive and undiagnosed virus from the petri dish of a home which I live due to the kids being in public school.  But his year was different.  I was sick the week before Christmas. So I got that going for me.

Enough of that whining; back to the music.  If you recall, I was stuck in traffic and my stereo had my attention.

Unbeknownst to me, I was going to get throat punched by one of my favorite artists of all time.  No it’s not Adele.  Adele couldn’t hold this artist’s jock.  And no I’m not going to tell you who it is now.  It’s time to use the age-old slow burn of plot development.  I’d been in a hurry with everything.  Rushing and complaining through it all.  And now, I was stuck in an immobile grid lock of traffic on the valley freeway somewhere between Auburn and Pacific and IT happened.  I was grumbling about who cut me off and stressing about how, when, and what I was going to do for Christmas gifts.  Welcome to the 1^st world problems of my life.

Granted, it’s been more than this.  I’ve been dealing with the imminent effects of life moving forward.  I still struggle with being alone.  He’s gone, not here.  It’s over only a driver’s license and bent wheel remains.  She’s gone too.  Nothing more than a frozen paw print in plaster.  I’ve watched health erode in those closest to me and in my own body.  What is 100% anyway?  I’ve seen the superhero of my life slow to an above-average human in strength and will.  At home, I’ve worried about my relevance.  Now on an unfamiliar path of life, my self-awareness and image has been tarnished from what I once believed was invaluable.  The periphery of family has been on wearing on my heart too.  And then there is work; something I typically will not discuss on the internets.  My new role at work has been a humbling reality where I’ve discovered that I am no longer the center of the universe in terms of desired hired gun in our selling campaigns.  I’m now the QB of the team calling the plays in the big game rather than the third down receiver.  I suck at it right now.  It’s going to be a long journey to be a hall of famer in this position.  I’m not used to being average in my work.  Ultimately, my identity in my existence is changing with all of this change.

‘Live fast die young’ has changed to ‘Live with knee pain, a headache and bills while your kids play Minecraft.’

We all go through these changes and a metamorphosis in who we are to ourselves and others.  I just haven’t been doing well with who I am now becoming to me and others.  I’m fighting the system and not going gently into this.  Would you expect anything different?

But I was reminded on my drive home that you always have a friend and confidant in music.  It’s always there for you.  And strangely, it always knows what you need to hear when you need to hear it.  The drive home helped.  Hell, it resulted in me writing on this blog for the second time in two weeks.  Also, it inspired me to post my feelings about it on Facebook.  And you know me, I’m not a big fan of the ‘Whinebook.’  And to follow my own rules, I’ve uploaded it here for your listening pleasure.  It changed my life that day at that waypoint in my life.  The song was upbeat.  It was soulful.  It was driven.  And if cathartically choreographed, it had a message about how music can help you.  It grabbed my attention and once it had it, I heard what it had to say to me.  No misunderstanding here; it was called ‘Coming to You’ by Jill Scott and it was coming right at me. 

And I listened.

Then I felt better.  Then I listened to it again.  Then I listened at least another half dozen times and I felt even better.

And that’s my point here.  Just listen when music is playing.  It’s so important.  So cathartic.  So poignant.  Your soundtrack will carry you when you’re tired, lead you when you’re lost, inspire you when you’re withered, heal you when you’re hurt, and make you dance in the middle of a crowd of human lemmings.  Dance, sing, and feel it all.