Monday, January 1, 2018
We Put Our Dreams Through The Shredder; Let’s Toast Because Things Got Better
Posted by Punk Rock Dad at 4:56 PM
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It feels
like it’s only fitting to scribble a few words down now that it is the end of
2017. After all, I haven’t written
anything here for over a year. This used
to be therapy for me. Now I just can’t
find the time to use it and just let things simmer in my heart and head.
Not today.
Not tonight.
To my wife,
I can’t say
there’s any one thing in particular that caused this moment of introspection
but a series of simple waypoints of life reminding me of our story. Then this was topped off by the right piece of
music at the right time. Remember the
other day when I told you about that early morning instance of inspiration that
I wished I could capture as a ‘lightning-in-a-bottle’ moment for use later? This is that moment.
I’ve been
thinking a lot about our story. I don’t
talk about it much nor do I need to. We
know how I has played out over time. There
are no Hallmark cards which can capture it all in prose or verse: Two healthy
video game playing boys, two needy and anxious 40+ pound indoor dogs, and a
male alley cat with six nipples. Life. There are too many tears, laughs, and
memories to count. And for all of it, I
thank you.
Over the last
few weeks I’ve found myself being more introspective. I know it’s because 2017 has been a year that
we’d like to get into the rearview mirror.
Complaining and whining about the tough times of 2017 would do an injustice
to the great parts of the year. But as I
was sitting in the office this morning thinking about our responsibilities, I
was taken back by a simple song. A song
and it rang so true to us.
I guess you
could say that there are a few songs over the years: “So Far Away,” “Jet Lag,” and “Future Day”
are a few of them. But this one today is
different.
It’s brutally
honest about mistakes. We had many along the way; from truths to lies to fears
and failures. There will be more and we
know it.
It’s deeply
soulful and touching. As kids and young
adults, we had our dreams. This wasn’t what we scripted 15-20 years ago but
things worked out better than we expected or even planned.
And it’s profane
in the appropriate places. After all,
the kids know just how much we swear. It’s
about shaking things up in the world in our unique way and some people will be
offended by it.
The song mimics
our approach to life in all of its rawness.
It’s about handling whatever comes our way; maturity, kids, death,
depression, suicide, friends and family.
We have
always survived.
And to
think, this year has its highs and lows for us but also the world around us. 2017 hasn’t been all that great at times and
I’m looking forward to making it better in 2018. But to even think that it was the worst year
would be unfair to how far we have come and the direction we keep going.
We have had
countless warm and unforgettable moments with each other, our children, our
family, and our friends. We were a part
of a ‘voice’ in Olympia this year. We
taught our children invaluable lessons about inclusion, support, belief, and
strength. We were part of an ‘uprising’
of people who demanded to be heard and have justice. We had friends and family step out of our
lives. They grew apart from us, or we
did from them. But no longer did those ties
of friendship bind. New relationships
were made and old ones were re-established around our kitchen island over
wine. Much wine. We lost inspirational role models this
year. At times it felt like a bit of our
adolescence and adulthood were taken away as a result of the losses. And then, we lost family at the most
inopportune times testing the true bonds of love and support. But so many uplifting instances continue to
balance the negatives of 2017. Looking
back on the concerts and the music; Green Day, Linkin Park, and Vanilla Ice all
were the fabric of our 2017 soundtrack.
Our oldest child is now a pre-teen 7th grader. Not yet grown and still a mama’s boy but
becoming self-sufficient. He can finally
spread peanut butter on waffles. And our
youngest, continuing to cut all the corners he can with his chores, wandering the
halls of school, and being the force that consistently requires our guidance
and focus testing every bit of patience we have.
Yes. 2017 has not been great but it has been
enriching. And without you on this
journey, this path wouldn’t be as meaningful.
It’s a gross understatement but there have been countless tears, laughs,
and memories this year. But what is
incredibly uplifting is having you join me on the countless tears, laughs, and
memories that are still in our future.
Past, present, and the future of us…..I thank you for all of it and love
you with every thread of this sometimes frail but deeply devoted heart.
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