It feels like it’s only fitting to scribble a few words down now that it is the end of 2017.  After all, I haven’t written anything here for over a year.  This used to be therapy for me.  Now I just can’t find the time to use it and just let things simmer in my heart and head.

Not today. Not tonight.

To my wife,

I can’t say there’s any one thing in particular that caused this moment of introspection but a series of simple waypoints of life reminding me of our story.  Then this was topped off by the right piece of music at the right time.  Remember the other day when I told you about that early morning instance of inspiration that I wished I could capture as a ‘lightning-in-a-bottle’ moment for use later?  This is that moment.

I’ve been thinking a lot about our story.  I don’t talk about it much nor do I need to.  We know how I has played out over time.  There are no Hallmark cards which can capture it all in prose or verse: Two healthy video game playing boys, two needy and anxious 40+ pound indoor dogs, and a male alley cat with six nipples.  Life.  There are too many tears, laughs, and memories to count.  And for all of it, I thank you.

Over the last few weeks I’ve found myself being more introspective.  I know it’s because 2017 has been a year that we’d like to get into the rearview mirror.  Complaining and whining about the tough times of 2017 would do an injustice to the great parts of the year.  But as I was sitting in the office this morning thinking about our responsibilities, I was taken back by a simple song.  A song and it rang so true to us.

I guess you could say that there are a few songs over the years:  “So Far Away,” “Jet Lag,” and “Future Day” are a few of them.  But this one today is different.

It’s brutally honest about mistakes. We had many along the way; from truths to lies to fears and failures.  There will be more and we know it.

It’s deeply soulful and touching.  As kids and young adults, we had our dreams.   This wasn’t what we scripted 15-20 years ago but things worked out better than we expected or even planned.

And it’s profane in the appropriate places.  After all, the kids know just how much we swear.  It’s about shaking things up in the world in our unique way and some people will be offended by it.

The song mimics our approach to life in all of its rawness.  It’s about handling whatever comes our way; maturity, kids, death, depression, suicide, friends and family.

We have always survived.

And to think, this year has its highs and lows for us but also the world around us.  2017 hasn’t been all that great at times and I’m looking forward to making it better in 2018.  But to even think that it was the worst year would be unfair to how far we have come and the direction we keep going.

We have had countless warm and unforgettable moments with each other, our children, our family, and our friends.  We were a part of a ‘voice’ in Olympia this year.  We taught our children invaluable lessons about inclusion, support, belief, and strength.  We were part of an ‘uprising’ of people who demanded to be heard and have justice.  We had friends and family step out of our lives.  They grew apart from us, or we did from them.  But no longer did those ties of friendship bind.  New relationships were made and old ones were re-established around our kitchen island over wine.  Much wine.  We lost inspirational role models this year.  At times it felt like a bit of our adolescence and adulthood were taken away as a result of the losses.  And then, we lost family at the most inopportune times testing the true bonds of love and support.  But so many uplifting instances continue to balance the negatives of 2017.  Looking back on the concerts and the music; Green Day, Linkin Park, and Vanilla Ice all were the fabric of our 2017 soundtrack.  Our oldest child is now a pre-teen 7^th grader.  Not yet grown and still a mama’s boy but becoming self-sufficient.  He can finally spread peanut butter on waffles.  And our youngest, continuing to cut all the corners he can with his chores, wandering the halls of school, and being the force that consistently requires our guidance and focus testing every bit of patience we have.

Yes.  2017 has not been great but it has been enriching.  And without you on this journey, this path wouldn’t be as meaningful.  It’s a gross understatement but there have been countless tears, laughs, and memories this year.  But what is incredibly uplifting is having you join me on the countless tears, laughs, and memories that are still in our future.  Past, present, and the future of us…..I thank you for all of it and love you with every thread of this sometimes frail but deeply devoted heart.

In the last six months, I‘ve tried to reduce my exposure to ‘social’ networks like Facebook.  The reason; I typically don’t like to broadcast my existence (except when getting kicked out of hotel rooms).  Now for me, FB is more of a once-a-week comedic relief for reading people’s rants about everything from religion to Obama to doctors to the weather.  I used to use the check in feature for airports and hotels I’ve traveled to.  But I’ve even cut back on that.  Awhile back, a Facebook ‘friend’ inquired about my travel and how ‘fun’ it must be.  The thought was that it seemed like I was always on vacation.

The inquiry got me thinking and it’s been on my mind for months.  I’m pretty lucky to have had the opportunity to see a lot of the world.  Now to be fair, there’s nothing romantic about traveling on business; even if I do get to tack on vacations at some of the more desirable spots I end up in.  Bottom line is this: you’re not at home.  The perks are business class seating, priority boarding, and sometimes drivers and personal handlers.  I won’t lie, that’s pretty bad ass.  But my travel can be summarized by some VERY long days and nights leading up to the trip where preparation is essential.  Then it’s long flights and layovers in random airports somewhere around the world.  This is followed by stress that you might not make your connection because the idiots in front of you have never been in an airport and can’t find their way.  They’re in your way and all you want to do is punch them in the mouth because you weren’t able to sleep on your last flight because the German guy who sat next to you snored the ENTIRE time.  Why do Germans snore so loud?  And when you finally get to your hotel, the staff is way too polite and always in your business.  Trust me, after traveling for over 24 hours, you want to be left the hell alone.  Then there’s the jet lag.

All of the ‘drama’ aside, I recognize that I have a pretty special opportunity to see so many places around the world and meet some of the most interesting people.  By my count, I have visited 23 unique cities and 16 unique countries in the last 30 months.  Not a bad canvasing of the globe.  That’s a whole lot of immigration and customs lines to stand in.

When I returned from my last trip of 2014, it got me thinking about big things.  I’m an idealist and in December I’m in overdrive about my ideologies.  Specifically at this moment it’s gratitude for all that I’ve been given.  And when I say all, I mean ALL.  I have no shortage of thinks to be grateful for.  Both good and bad.

I’ve seen just how different but coincidentally similar the rest of the world is when compared to the U.S.  Also, I’ve seen firsthand how so many people worldwide envy our existence in this country.  People die to come here for what our nation stands for.  They’re coming from dirt bag areas of foreign countries and rich socially elite areas.  They come for the prosperity and the notion we here sometimes forget – freedom.  Still, we complain on Facebook that traffic sucks, our jobs suck, or someone unfriended us, or there’s no dislike button.  Secretly behind closed doors we grit our teeth about how boisterous our ‘friends’ are.  We’re just so pessimistic and so competitive at times.

My rant here isn’t about Facebook or any of the users.  It’s just one of many vices which have enabled us to become more divergent from one another by allowing people to view and judge each other through a veil of anonymity.  A metric for our life’s successes have now become how many likes we have on our statuses or pictures posted.  If I get enough likes, my content will be pushed to the top of a news feed, others will like it, more virtual popularity for me!

Prepare for preachy.

Success to me is personal happiness.  To get there is having gratitude for everything.

I’m so appreciative of being able to travel, see the world and its alternate perspectives, and being able to engage different cultures.  You can’t help but get a better perspective on life.  I’ve been to countries where the local businesses are only open 2-4 hours a day.  The remaining hours are spent fishing, sitting in an old lawn chairs with friends, and being hospitable to others despite differences.  Scenes like this replay over and over all over the world.  People appreciating what they have.  People living in their moments.  In Tahiti, my wife and I tried to find a late lunch at 2PM and every restaurant and convenience store was closed for the afternoon.  Later we found that everyone heads to the beach for the afternoon.  Island customs, appreciating time together and enjoying paradise.  And I once sat and stared out of my hotel window in Jeddah at an Arab family having a picnic on the coast of the Red Sea.  Just being together, enjoying each other.  A family moment.

We’re nothing more than bags of meat hurtling through space and time on a spinning rock.  But the one thing that I’ve taken away from all of my travel; universally we all want the same thing; happiness.  To be happy, we need to have gratitude and appreciate our existence.  Don’t let Facebook be the jury of your peers.

Being grateful is something I constantly try to impart on my boys.  For them it’s tough to understand.  First of all, they’re too young to understand adversity and have perspective for which I’m glad.  Stay innocent and naive as long as you can.  Second, their lives are full of spoils.  Houses, cars, toys, clothes, food.  We’ve worked tirelessly to build stability around them.  Not just with the tangibles, but with the intangibles.  Love, effort, perseverance, commitment, faith.  These are the tenets of our household and virtues we follow every day.  These, and a little luck, are the recipe for the resulting tangibles.

Effort and love you don’t always ‘see’ with your eyes.  But I know they feel them.  Unfortunately for me is that at their age, evidence is tangible.  But perspective will come, I don’t worry. I just always bring up examples of gratitude.

I can only look back now because I’m older.  Was I grateful when I was young?  Doubt it.  And that isn’t because my parents didn’t teach me to be grateful.  They tried to a lot.  But they also did much more than that.  They made me and my brother feel comfortable in our existence.  Love and support came at full speed.  There were times we didn’t have much and I never knew we went without.  Why?  I knew my parents would turn the world over for me.  I saw them work hard at everything they did.  Perseverance is the single most important thing I’ve learned from them.  I appreciate my humble beginnings and the examples that paved the way to today.

I don’t have a moral here only a simple wish during the holiday season and the beginning of this New Year.  Remove yourself from competing and judging.  Spend time in positivity appreciating your existence and where you’ve come from.  Your job may suck, but you’re getting paid.  Your house may feel too small, but you’re warm.  Change your perspective.  Take a hike and enjoy your natural surroundings.  Take a bike ride and smell the fresh crisp air.  Listen to music or read a book and become inspired.  Play with your children and listen to them giggle as you tickle them.  And most importantly, give hugs to those who’ve changed your life and made you better, made you happy, made you smile.  Be appreciative of their existence within you. Then, use Facebook to share how much that means.  Show your gratitude.

Existing is easy, appreciating is hard.

With the end of the year upon us and the impending delight, surprise, drama, or doom of the New Year, I felt like this was a great time to drop a little wisdom on the ol’ family blog.  It’s been months since I’ve spun any tales here.  Mostly, this is due to timing, specifically a lack of it.  I’ve had the inspiration, tons of beginnings, but no endings on topics.  Well the end of the year is just that, an end to a ‘topic.’

My travel schedule is the complicating factor.  This got me thinking.  Travel is a pain and I have to do it a lot.  So when I do, I try to keep it simple, travel light, and just focus on essential things.  When traveling, I only require three things and if I don’t have these three things, the travel sucks balls.  The three things are:

1.  Internet – so I can communicate with the free world, more specifically my family

2.  Soft pillow – sleeping doesn’t come easy on travel so a soft place to drop your head is integral

3.  Cold beer – Comfort food.  When in a foreign country, you want comfort food.  For me that is beer

On New Year’s Eve, a discussion of beer seems incredibly appropriate and useful for my audience.  I’ve been reading this book. It was a gift for my birthday last month and it’s called “The Book of Beer Awesomeness.”  If you haven’t read this fine literary masterpiece, I highly recommend it.  I’m’ not going to get into a deep thoughtful review here.  I just want to dig into a concept it proposes.  That’s the concept of proper beer drinking etiquette.  The book suggests that there are 15 Rules to Proper Beer Drinking Etiquette.

With the rules below and my interpretation, you should now be able to consume a healthy libations and not be mistaken as a crude and uncivilized heathen.

1.  Always perform toast when drinking the first beer of the day.

A toast is essential.  I read somewhere that the sound of glasses clanging during a toast was thought to ward off evil spirits and bring prosperity.  Tempting fate? Is that something you really want to do?  Toast to your health, family, friends, or whatever it is you appreciate.  The toast will be therapeutic to externalize the importance of appreciation.

2.  Never complain about free beer.

We all know ungrateful bastards like this.  If the sweet nectar of the Gods is being offered to you at no cost, why would you complain about it?  These are the type of people who ask for a favor and then critique how the favor is being delivered.  Basically, nothing is good enough.  Free beer is better than no beer at all.  Remember that and always be considerate.

3.  Always have at least one six pack in your fridge at all times.

If the Boy Scouts of America could drink, then this would be their rule.  Always be prepared.  It’s really pretty obvious.  Came home from a sick time riding your bike?  You need a beer.  Replacing some fence in the back yard? You need a beer.  Unplug a toilet from a family member’s granite-like fecal deposit?  You need a beer.

4.  Have a bottle opening apparatus on you at all times.

I have an infinite number of occasions where I was asked if I had an opener.  In my house, they are everywhere.  A bottle opener on the fridge in the house, a bottle opener on the beer fridge in the garage, a bottle opener on the wall hanging above the work bench in my shop, a bottle opener in the car (it’s only illegal if you’re drinking), even several drawers in the kitchen have them.  And now I have a credit card sized tool that I carry in my wallet for beer opening.

5.  At house parties, mark your beer so you know it’s yours.

There are scoundrels out there who will jack your beer at a house party.  Brand your beer so you know it’s yours to ward off the infiltrators who know no couth and will take your beer because they didn’t bring their own.  Yes, your beer should be left behind after the party has concluded and it will have your name affixed on it.  The host will then see this remaining inventory and knon two things: 1. You brought your beer to a his or her party and are not a free loader.  You in fact have enough respect for them and your beer to assert yourself and your beer in the community.   And 2. You understand Rule 8 below.  Beer gets left behind after parties as a token of appreciation and gratitude to the host.

6.  Never pooh-pooh another drinker’s preference, everyone has their own poison.

There are nearly 100,000 types of beers on this orbiting rock of a planet of ours.  Don’t be so arrogant to say that you’ve drank a sample of all of them and that you’ve been indoctrinated as the supreme ambassador envoy to the stewardship of beer excellence and proficiency.  Seriously dude, everyone has their taste.  Some like hoppy, some like stouts, and some like beer-flavored water.  If you haven’t noticed, beer is the one thing that all cultures and civilizations have in common.  Why not stop judging and start embracing the differences and similarities?  Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder.

7.  At keg parties, only fill up two keg cups at a time per person.  Any more than that, get back in line.

Filling keg cups at a party is kind of like merging onto the freeway.  Everyone just wants to get going and not have their momentum impeded.  Equally, you don’t want to have someone stand in your way to sweet sweet libations, so why would you do this to another patron?  It’s kind of like the golden rule of beer distribution.  ‘Keep the line moving, keep the beer flowing, and keep the peeps drinking,’ I always say.

8.  If you bring beer to a party, you may drink it, but you’re not allowed to take any extra beer home.

This is one that truly annoys me about people.  They are the same ones who complain about free beer.  For once, they bring their own beer, use your fridge and conveniences, eat your snacks, disparage your preferences, and then take the beer home.  Your beer is a token of goodwill, an offering of prosperity, a gesture of thanks, not a yo-yo of libations.

9.  If someone buys you a beer, you must finish it.

This is a simple matter of respect.  If someone extends his or her courtesy to you in the form of a beer, you should drink it and thank them for such an action.  Now it’s not and hard fast rule for females.  If a dude buys a chick a drink and the chick choose to not drink it, whether that be because she dumps it on him or that she was using her girlish wiles to procure said drink for her friend is irrelevant, she is her accord to not drink it should she choose.  But if you decide to not drink it for some caloric or dietary reasoning, then you’re just a quitter and you suck.

10.  If someone buys you a beer, you must buy them the next round.

Much like Rule 9, this is a return showing of respect to another who has previously celebrated you buy purchasing you a beer.  Return the favor.  At times, pub logistics may not allow for neutral round purchases.  When this happens, keep a mental ledger of your unbalance beer book.  Make sure you pay it back in some way, shape or form.  Be a good beer drinker.

11.  If someone buys a round for the group, the group should toast to the buyer’s health.

This is the combination of Rule 1 and Rule 10.  Toasting is a sign of respect and appreciation, especially the buyer who bought a round for the group.  Celebrate this person’s supreme awesomeness.

12.  If you spill someone else’s beer, you owe them a new one.

This is what we call a ‘Party Foul.’  They happen.  Most of the time, they are accidents.  Their frequency increases proportionally with the amount of beer consumed.  So you can’t avoid them.  What you can avoid is being a D-bag and not acknowledging the incident and not rectifying the situation.  If you disrupt someone’s consumption of beer by way of spillage, be a Good Samaritan and apologize and fix the situation.  There’s nothing more sad that a spilled beer with no home.

13.  If someone leaves their seat to get a new beer, you must honor their claim on the space for five minutes.

Seating at pubs can be a high-value item.  Sometimes you’re the seat predator, and sometimes you’re the seat prey.  We’ve all done it, watched for someone to get up and buy another beer or hit the restroom, then swoop in and rest our tired ass on their seat.  But you must honor the effort of their claimed space as you don’t know the effort to which it was originally procured.  Honor thy time limit unless of course the person doesn’t claim the space then it’s yours.

14.  Never bring beer into the bathroom.  It’s just weird.

There are exceptions to this rule.  Bringing a beer into a public bathroom at a pub or restaurant?  That’s just stupid.  Bringing a beer into the men’s restroom at CenturyLink field during a Seahawk game? Absolutely acceptable.  That’s why there are folding beer trays above the urinals.  At home, this rule doesn’t apply.  There’s nothing more perfect than a beer in the shower.  Trust me.  I’m the theorist of the three greatest inventions of mankind: 1. Beer, 2. Running water, and 3. Toothpaste.

15.  Clean up after yourself.  You weren’t’ raised in a barn.

I mean, even if you were raised in a barn, you must know that you need to clean up your stall.  Seriously, don’t leave your bottles and cans strewn about your home or a host’s house.  At the very least, ask “Do you recycle?”  Most likely the host will tell you, “Let me take care of that for you.”  And just like that you’ve used the Jedi Mind trick to pick up after yourself.  Worst case is that the host tells you where to place the empties.  And then you’ve helped them clean up their abode and will look like a patron saint of drinking who will now be invited back due to your appreciation of personal space.  Yay you for continuing your beer prosperity.

In conclusion, rules are made to be broken but only in the most extreme or extenuating circumstances.  As I mentioned above, civilization after civilization and culture after culture, we have all shared in the commonality of beer and celebrated its unique taste and satisfaction.  Through its and our diversity, we’ve found harmony.  So listed above are the 15 Rules for Proper Beer Drinking Etiquette.  While I can’t take credit for this hypothesis, I can take credit for my biased interpretation of the rules listed below each.

While I may not be an expert on this, or anything for that matter, I do know I love beer.  Being that it is one of the greatest inventions of all time, one of the things I require for my travel comfort, and embodies the true definition of awesomeness, it seems incredibly appropriate to pen down some text about beer on New Year’s Eve.

Tonight, enjoy your beers, appreciate your hosts, toast you friends and family, and kick out 2014 for great start to 2015.